You Know Your Stoned When....

[ms kitty]

you know you're stoned when ...

you can't sleep for wondering why if enough is 'enuf'

why isn't a trough a 'truf'

or Slough 'sluf' or 'slof' ...

and have to get out of bed to turn the computer on and jabber about it

[WAYNEFIVEBELL]

here is another, how about wen u watch who wants 2 b a millionaire get loads of questions right a believe u have won the monry ....fuk i just did it ...its on tv now,,, gutted

[Guest dirtbikeal]

you now when your stoned when you put the coffe in the fridge the milk in the coffe cuboard and the dirty washing up has just gone in the oven

[widget]

Here's a new one for me: You know you're stoned when you light your spliff and start toking then proceed to put the lighter down in the ashtray and try to light a non-existant second spliff with the one you started smoking as some sort of automatic reaction.

It gave me a great idea though: Four spliffs on the go at once with a special space for each in my ashtray it would be perfect. The ritual for this smokage would have to be to stick them all in my mouth, then proceed to light them one by one as described above with the first being lit by lighter then the rest by the next lit spliff putting them all down in the ashtray one after the other. Then of course smoking each spliff after another in a clockwise fashion.

Actually its a bit like sharing a spliff between friends except you are sharing yourself amongst the spliffs

Funky logic.

[zadtop]

True Story:

You live alone and go into the kitchen and see two holes the size of a pencil have appeared in the wall. You spend ages thinking: how the hell did my cat do that?

Go through all the ways a cat could puncture two holes in a wall, thinking this must be a world first,

most clever/sneaky/intelligent/amazing cat in the world????

and then you remember you put up a shelf up in the bathroom a few hours ago and while drilling the holes for that you must have drilled right thu the wall.

And also, after a night of heavy smoking see, with total dismay, all your stash is gone... "I could never have smoked all that", you say, and so, of course, blame the cat...

[TightBud]

i know i'm stoned when i become "goldfishboy"

what was i doing?

[danthebadman]

when your trying to book a room in telford by phone for the expo but the the conversation with the recorded robot on the other end is just too confusing to have to deal with!

[grobag]

You walk upstairs, only to get there and wonder - Why did I come up here?

Walk in the supermarket and think - bugger, what do I eat?

:wink:

[TightBud]

just remembered

the lady asked me in the shop earlier.."is there anything else"

"no thanks" i replied

then "oh yes what i came here for ...two slices of smoked bacon please"

didn't forget to cook it though

[Father McPot]

... A bowl of Sultana bran and a glass of water look like a great snack.

[Huxter]

You feel like mr soft when walking down the road

Mr. Soft, won't you tell me why the world in which your living is so strange...

Oh, Mr. Soft, how come everything around is so soft and rearranged..

[landsker]

You feel like mr soft when walking down the road

Mr. Soft, won't you tell me why the world in which your living is so strange...

Oh, Mr. Soft, how come everything around is so soft and rearranged..

That same thing has happened to me on several occasions.

Usually means you are wearing slippers, and forgot to put your shoes on.

[jamhot]

when you stand looking into the fridge hoping somthing will jump out at you. realising it won't, sitting back where you came from only to repeat that procedure again after 5 mins. cue vicious circle for next hour untill you drive down the 24 hour for massive aimless walk untill said item jumps out at you.

[Snake]

when your hugging a girl you met at a party called mary-jane saying shes so beautiful and you love her so much.

[Canna-Bliss]

when you forgrt that you got high atall