The Noodle Revolution - A fight against "King" Vinces empire of voodoo.

[2Fat2EatThat]

Fellow Pot Noodle growers,

I believe the time has come for all down trodden yet still fiercely defiant Noodle growers who have suffered terribly under dictator noodle king Vinces rule of domination for a decade of months to now come together as brothers to defend our common values and grow with vengeance to defeat the dark and dastardly threat of "King" Vinces voodoo powers in 2019.

No human should have the right to mercilessly brag about his prowess and girth (I will if I win though) whilst ridiculing the brave attempts of others who are more than happy to settle for a firm banana in the hand against Vinces large water melon in two.

So I declare brothers, our moment in the sun is upon us!

We must grow without fear in our hearts,

We must grow with dignity,

Grow with passion and bravery,

We must strive to do brilliant things, like grow cannabis in a noodle pot, not because they are easy but because they are hard and we must let that battle forge us into one collective and guide us towards a time when we won't feel inadequate against Vinces girth, we will no longer suffer his relentless gloating and the dastardly effect of his merciless rule over simple good folk. 

The road to come will be long with many struggles and dark times to survive but at its end together we will have lived like brothers, fought like warrior kings and earnt our.................

FFFFFFRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEDDDDDOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!

ARE YOU WITH ME BROTHERS?!

ARE YOU WITH ME!!?!!!

This revolution will be diarised.

 

 

I am using never before seen technology developed by the best scientists Papua New Guinea had to offer in 1773 with a massive budget of billion upon billion of atoms inside two ten pound notes. 

 

We are the Noodle collective and we will not falter in our determination to exile our "king" to the Isle of White, a horrendous tortuous place home to runts and genetic mutations from the past.

 

So run from your house of cards Vince and do not look back or your fate will be determined mercilessly and without honour. 

 

 

 

 

(oh fuck now I have to back this shit up) 

 

 

Edited July 25, 2019 by 2Fat2EatThat

[InTheSystem]

[vince noir rock n roll star]

Edited July 25, 2019 by vince noir rock n roll star

[Amo]

Good luck dude...

An welcome to the PnC mad house...

Ur a mark’d man now you have aim’d ur battle cry at the King...

[vince noir rock n roll star]

[Guest]

one stands against the king so brave and bold while the other (my self ) watches from the side line allthough my lone greenhouse noodle looks rather dashing today i must say good luck dude. Always respect thee king

[Jibba jabba]

Alright there @2Fat2EatThat

 

Another brave knight enters, 

 

I wish you well sir,

 

Jj 

[tokenroll]

Keen as a badger this boy.

[vince noir rock n roll star]

almost milking it ...not on my reign mister ..

 

[monkeypig]

I pray the king is in a forgiving mood. @2Fat2EatThat  is really risking getting himself , ahem, "topped" if he keeps up the treasonous talk

Edited July 25, 2019 by monkeypig

[ROCKSTEADY6]

Should be a good addition. Shaping up nicely. Best of luck @2Fat2EatThat. 

[Biokid]

I think a bit of 'high stress training' may be in order @vince noir rock n roll star

 

Bio

 

[vince noir rock n roll star]

Edited July 26, 2019 by vince noir rock n roll star

[2Fat2EatThat]

Thank you for your kind welcome brave people of the Noodle and of course thanks to the one and only true God of Seed, the one who's name is only whispered for we are all his servants and we willingly serve in his quest for the holy grail of Pot Noodle growing in 2019.

@HSO-Mark 

 

 

The time has come for grow battle to commence and my challenge to king Vinces dastardly reign. 

This is going to be growing done with a sense of humour and in as weird a way as I could think of within the rules just for the fun but also because I have a permenantly empty wallet of late so I decided to try and build it using stuff I had sitting around as much as possible and other than compost/nutes/seeds it's entirely from my junk stock. .


Things I thought I could try with this grow just for the hell of it (note the confidence) -


Find a way to push O2 into the roots to boost supply without relying on the hydro draw down of air when watering. It cant be to high pressure obviously or it would be detrimental to root happiness. The air also needed to be humified to fight any accidental air pruning around the inlet holes of the pot.

Wanted a simple way to deliver fluid to guard against quick drying through haphazard human attention and effort. 

 

Hopefully train the plant for a good yield and even out bud quality through the plant with a knock on effect of being lower and more stable. 
 

 

What I came up with -
 

 I had to fix problems that I brought on myself when I could just put dirt in a pot and be done with it. The solutions are as follows and rather than try to explain this using simple words I've opted for a short tutorial at the end of which you may still be confused but do not worry that is a perfectly normal side effect. 
 

 

These are honestly the main components -

 

 

 

I took a milk bottle top, it fitted the conical flask humidifier bang on, punctured two holes, one small with a small plastic couple for fresh air (blue hose) and one for the larger hose feeding the humified air out into the glass teapot/pot holder - 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The conical flask holds water so the blue air in line will be under the water bubbling and the large horrible brown ex vape whip carries humid air into the teapot and into the Noodle Pot. 

 

 

I have a dual feed adjustable air pump so can manipulate flow rates /pressure into the teapot during the grow. The teapot was chosen simply as it fitted the Noodle pot perfectly and with extra luck the spout also happened to accept the big air hose spot on. Being glass you/me/HSO Mark can make sure there are no cheeky roots sneaking out to rob me of my glorious and undoubted victory. 


I punctured small holes around the Noodle pot itself to allow the forced air in low around the root zone so it pushes in and up through rather than having to many holes lessening the pressure to much  -

 

 

The air pressure needed to be balanced enough to make a difference but not to much so as to introduce drying issues I mentioned above.

 

 

To test this I devised an incredibly dangerous experiment so put on your safety goggles at this point please. I set up the pump/flask/teapot fitted the punctured noodle pot then sealed it with duct tape. I decided 66p would provide an adequate amount of mass on top to test lift pressure especially as that was all I had left in my wallet.The results of this ground breaking experiment are documented below.


This image wasnt taken from an expensive super slow mo video catching the exact moment before activation with the 66p precisely balanced -

 

 

 

 

The second image dramatically documents the incredible moment the whole 66p is lifted to a heady 7mm so just enough gentle pressure -

 

 

To deliver fluids I then tied up a braid wick shaped to fit inside the pot with ring levels down into the base, the black marks are where I used heat to bond the ends together. No its not a sexual device -

 

 

 

 

 

 

The two extra lengths of braid above the pot sit in a 4pt milk bottle containing water and nutes that will deliver them directly to the roots through the whole pot and there is a second air feed keeping everything bubbly in there.

 

 

Some time ago I did a grow around the rim of a hanging basket that went really well so I adapted that idea to give a flat platform to train my noodle plant round. Using the limitless technology available to me I came up with a Heroes chocolate tub and duct tape although I did have to splash out on a new Stanley Knife blade, my biggest expense.


You'll notice I marked out the hole and sectioned it to cut. I then reinforced around it with tape to stop any cracking when cutting. The first attempt without tape triggered a massive "oh fuck it's cracked" moment -

 

 

 

 

 

Then slide the pot into it -

 

 

 

 

Tape it round and you have this - 

 

 

 

 

Right way up, you can't see but there are holes round the edge to tie down to - 

 

 

I will superglue some supports underneath the rim to manage the weight of the monster 2-3kg of buds I'm definitely 100% going to grow.

 

 

This is how it all looks without the training piece and water. Its a bit mad you say? yeah your right but once Id roughly figured it out I couldn't not use it - 

 

 

 

 

 

My grow plan -

 

 

Essentially its a compost grow at heart using cheap Levingtons Organic which is a nice bag of autumnal woodland aromas,delivering hints of Mushroom, leaf mulch with occasional grassy Rabbit droppings and is as airy as Angel Delight used to be before all the best dangerous ingredients were removed.


It has amendments of Bat guano, Kelp powder, Worm casts and a good dose of Mychorizal well mixed. I made 10 litres so I have enough for a big pot to and have slow fed it grow nutes with liquid Seaweed in a warm corner for 10 days or so to cook before it goes into the Noodle Pot ready for action.

 

 

At some point after 4 heavy vapes I decided to add some of the Noodles to the compost as a carbohydrate source so I smashed up half very fine and mixed it in. 

 

 

I'm germinating into a weaker medium that's 1 to 1 of cooked and plain compost. I grow the seedling until the 2nd node then top. When the side branches have pushed out in response I remove the top pair leaving a pair to tie down and grow out to the edge. From there I guide it round fastening it down as it goes until its filled the whole loop

When I flip to 12/12  I tie and weave down any stretch controlling the height . Once stretch is nearly finished I remove any badly situated bud sites, fan leaves and watch the flowers grow. 


So with all that as clear as mud to some of you and with absolutely no idea if it'll even work myself I stand before you hoping the fake "Bo Jo" hyper confident bluster speech with which I attacked old King Vince was not poorly judged vanity spouted by a newbie in the Noodle world who may well be spanked firmly by King Vince at the end. 


After all what can go wrong with a system designed by Gorillas on the cheap and built by slave Chimps addicted to meth and porn who just want to chimp all day.


Finally a genuine moment if I may -


In all seriousness and with utmost respect to you all I wish all the other growers the best of luck in this competition and can't wait to see how you all do.

 

 

I hope you end up with some cracking smoke if nothing else and I'd be chuffed with that prize alone. 

 

 

My seeds are germinating as we speak so next time will be actual growing. 

 

Thanks folks

[Amo]

Feck me dude, I don’t think I seen a contraption anything like that since the last time i watch’d Frankenstein 

But I will deffo be watching to see how you get on with this...

Good luck Dr F....