DrWho Posted December 9, 2011 Author Share Posted December 9, 2011 But then you will always be chasing that feeling, I think what we're after here is "contentment" rather than "happiness". And yet here we all are on a site dedicated to a plant that creates 'a feeling' No! If cannabis is you sole source of happiness or contentment then you have problems. Thats not what i'm saying at all, as i said in a previous post I think its about balance. Exercise, social interation, cannabis use, the aim is the same. people feel unhappy for many reasons, but a common one I come accross online is a feeling of loneliness, boredem, feeling empty like something is missing. We are led to believe that the answer is consumerism and so people get in to debt and are still not happy or feel depressed because they can not keep up. Which brings me back to the original question, How do you keep yourself content? Depresion as said earlier is an illness and thats not what i'm on about here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jonnyboy Posted December 9, 2011 Share Posted December 9, 2011 I think also one has to consider that some people experience discontent with what they have, others experience discontent with who they are. I'd suggest they are not the same. No not the same, i put it like getting your house in order, if your house is a mess theres a good chance the rest of your life is, if you have no idea where you put those scisors then that leads to stress trying to find them etc, in a tidy house you know where they are (which is great comfort itself) you go to them unconciously and use them, you know how to move around your own house, you subconciously feel it as a solid base that gives you the confindence to go out into life positively. If we go back to the individual, I beleive it starts with looking into yourself asking questions of yourself and your place in the world, once you have put your own conciousness in order then you have more focused and confident idea of your interactions with the world out there, like trying to run before you can walk. its easy to get distracted by this modern world we immerse ourselves in which robs us of a true understaning of ourselves by catching our attention, waving shiny things infront of us....before we fully understand if those shiny things are what the true self wants..... I think sometimes a problem can be when someone knows and understands themself perfectly. Just doesn't like who they are. Self-help wankery may claim that it's easy to change who you are (just sign up to my 10 week course, only £100 a session...), but I disagree utterly (I know, I've tried, bloody hard). You are who you are, you can pretend to be someone else, you can perhaps even fool yourself on a surface level that it's worked, but that's not the same thing at all. i beleive in everyone is the ability to love themselves....surely......a child isnt born hating itself, its moreover external influeneces that cause self loathing. and you are right, a six week self help course isnt going to help a person that can not help themselves first, it is hard, life is bloody hard, ive done some soul searching at times in my life and come up a blank, its a long journey but there are breakthroughs along the way. yes you are who you are, but do you really know that person, have you accepted that that is your lot?...if you have then logically one would say you are happy, but if you have accpeted your lot and you are not happy, you need to stop rewind and look inside yourself again, get to the root of your unhappiness.... ive been through some pretty weird shit recently that i never saw coming, what started me on that journey was questioning myself and my world, its lead to realisations and ultimately more contentment....so from my own personal experience i can see it was from looking in, rather than looking out for contentment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrWho Posted December 9, 2011 Author Share Posted December 9, 2011 Dave I agree that retirement can be deadly, maybe our problem is that we have done to well for ourselves as a race, when we were hunter gatherers we did not have to worry about these things. Our only concern was food, shelter passing on our genes, survival. No time left for questions we ask ourselves today. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boojum Posted December 9, 2011 Share Posted December 9, 2011 (edited) i beleive in everyone is the ability to love themselves....surely......a child isnt born hating itself, its moreover external influeneces that cause self loathing. and you are right, a six week self help course isnt going to help a person that can not help themselves first, it is hard, life is bloody hard, ive done some soul searching at times in my life and come up a blank, its a long journey but there are breakthroughs along the way. yes you are who you are, but do you really know that person, have you accepted that that is your lot?...if you have then logically one would say you are happy, but if you have accpeted your lot and you are not happy, you need to stop rewind and look inside yourself again, get to the root of your unhappiness.... ive been through some pretty weird shit recently that i never saw coming, what started me on that journey was questioning myself and my world, its lead to realisations and ultimately more contentment....so from my own personal experience i can see it was from looking in, rather than looking out for contentment. A child isn't born hating itself, of course. That kind of thing takes years of external negativity, either in the form of a lack of parental care or in the form of bullying (or, if one is very unlucky, both). A child isn't born a blank canvass either, though. We all have an innate personality. The person we end up being as adults is a combination of our innate personality and the things that happen to us as we grow and develop - there is no nature vs nurture, we are both nature AND nurture. But we become less, I dunno, plastic, malleable as we get older until we end up 'set in our ways'. E2A I probably totally contradicted my earlier post saying you can't change who you are Sometimes I think what I think right up until the point that I think something totally different for no apparent reason Mostly I just pretend I know what I think It sort of comes to me as I type Edited December 9, 2011 by Boojum 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jonnyboy Posted December 9, 2011 Share Posted December 9, 2011 (edited) call me nuts whatever, all my life ive had a feeling that although yes man is very clever really we need to evolve a bit in some way, for fuck sake we are still killing our own species and spending most of our collective wealth on fighting with each other,our focus is all wrong. Maybe our time for a bit of collective change in conciousness is coming, maybe the significance of 2012 is not the end of the world moreover a change in collective conciousness for the better for all, away from the past. I see so many people everywhere questioning their spiritual existence the world around them (occupy etc), look at the title of this thread....rather than be a time for worry that the world might end, maybe we are just becoming a bit more enlightened as to what is real and what matters, when you look aroubnd you and you don't like what you see, you either accept it or want it to change, i fully beleive that it is time we opted for a better future... loved your last line boojum Edited December 9, 2011 by jonnyboy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrrichiet Posted December 9, 2011 Share Posted December 9, 2011 Thats not what i'm saying at all, as i said in a previous post I think its about balance. Exercise, social interation, cannabis use, the aim is the same. people feel unhappy for many reasons, but a common one I come accross online is a feeling of loneliness, boredem, feeling empty like something is missing. We are led to believe that the answer is consumerism and so people get in to debt and are still not happy or feel depressed because they can not keep up. Which brings me back to the original question, How do you keep yourself content? Depresion as said earlier is an illness and thats not what i'm on about here. People is what it's all about and Community is what's missing, imho. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jonnyboy Posted December 9, 2011 Share Posted December 9, 2011 (edited) Thats not what i'm saying at all, as i said in a previous post I think its about balance. Exercise, social interation, cannabis use, the aim is the same. people feel unhappy for many reasons, but a common one I come accross online is a feeling of loneliness, boredem, feeling empty like something is missing. We are led to believe that the answer is consumerism and so people get in to debt and are still not happy or feel depressed because they can not keep up. Which brings me back to the original question, How do you keep yourself content? Depresion as said earlier is an illness and thats not what i'm on about here. People is what it's all about and Community is what's missing, imho. i agree.....the system emposed on us has inhibited this beleif in people and community, we are taught to compete rather than empathise..... Edited December 9, 2011 by jonnyboy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BiPolar Dave Posted December 9, 2011 Share Posted December 9, 2011 First key to sustainable capitialism and consumerism is to destroy the community. Fear thy neighbour. Thee who doesn't speak to anyone in the community needs 1 set of everything they need to live, a individually focused human consuming unit. Go to pacific islands they all work on mutual ownership. 1 family has this, one has that, they borrow and share, they got on well as it's a way of interacting, everyday, teaches you all manner of patience and good manners etc That's community! Stamp the fuck on that if you want to maximise taxes and spending, we've sold our fucking souls and we weren't even asked about it, or in many cases even realise we had one. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest grandad Posted December 9, 2011 Share Posted December 9, 2011 i was a gambler before i left school, lost all my wages the first 20 years i worked. for all those years and ever since i cant spend money on myself, but i have everything i need. iv'e never had holidays, i dont drink, the only clothes i need are for work, my family always bought them for me, they dont like see me scruffy, i just dont give a fuck. i still work 6 day weeks, i'm got loads of spare cash just now, i will spend it all on the kids, and my wife of course. the only thing missing was a healthy grow, and hopefull no more busts. my grow is coming along good style now, i'm working 11 hour days, i fell a couple of times this week, i hurt all over, do i give a shit, i smoke all day while i'm working, i cant believe i can run around like i do all day. this wee iv'e been dripping wet and cold and sore, i just love it, why, just cos i can, and mostly with a smile, but when i trip and go head first into a wall, hurt arms legs and back, i lose the smile for at least 20mins. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lolz Posted December 9, 2011 Share Posted December 9, 2011 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pssst over here Posted December 10, 2011 Share Posted December 10, 2011 I was going to chime in on this with my tuppence worth but BiPolar Dave has already expressed what I thought beautifully! & with more eloquence than I could muster! Get rid of all this man made reality: Get rid of the monetary system & switch to resource sharing & pooling. Get rid of that crappy box in my lounge that tells me I'm alive to work & to buy. You are all my brothers & sisters (black/white/purple couldn't give a f*ck) lets come together & take back our lives, our planet. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ratdog Posted December 10, 2011 Share Posted December 10, 2011 I was going to chime in on this with my tuppence worth but BiPolar Dave has already expressed what I thought beautifully! & with more eloquence than I could muster! Get rid of all this man made reality: Get rid of the monetary system & switch to resource sharing & pooling. Get rid of that crappy box in my lounge that tells me I'm alive to work & to buy. You are all my brothers & sisters (black/white/purple couldn't give a f*ck) lets come together & take back our lives, our planet. I was about to say get rid of tv/radio or be extremely selective of what you allow yourself to watch will cheer you up no end imo, i rarely watch live tv, i d/l what i want to watch and no ads to depress me, turn down your fav radio channel during the news/ads, it seems like too much trouble but before you know it you will do it automatically...that`s just part of it though, grow some veg in the spring, in pots if that`s all you have, i grew a fair bit a few years ago on a tiny shaded patio so i know it`s possible and the taste of fresh food is a great mood enhancer, not to over look the physical properties, and spend time with people onec or thrice a week if you live alone, i find that keeps the daemons at bay also that`s what it`s about for me, keeping the daemons away as opposed to being "happy" happiness is just a word and everyones definition of a word like that can be vastly different, for me it`s just peace of mind... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gJVcjO-bU5s 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
troy Posted December 25, 2011 Share Posted December 25, 2011 (edited) I have this pinned to my wall : Formula for peace of mind Shun suspicion and resentment, nursing a grudge is unproductive. Live in the present. Most unhappiness stems from an unwholesome preoccupation with the past and future. Forgive yourself freely for past mistakes. It is vital to your peace of mind as forgiving others. Don't waste time and energy fighting situations you cannot change, there is little you can do to change others. Co-operate with life instead of trying to demolish it or run away from it. Believe in something bigger than yourself, no-one is totally self reliant. When self obsession creeps in reach out to others less fortunate than yourself. Keeping problems to yourself gets them out of perspective, share with someone, your honesty will give the other person permission to be honest. Lead a structured day, do all the things you need to do first not the things you want to do. Instant gratification cause guilt. Lower the standards of expectation of yourself and others, otherwise you will be disappointed. Remember you can choose within those waking moments at the start of the day , what sort of day you will have. Edited December 25, 2011 by troy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hir Posted December 25, 2011 Share Posted December 25, 2011 After all my illnesses, prior to spinal injury, I was content when the benifits gave me £72 pounds a week, circa 1998, and finally the previous 9 years of living of £44 a week ended and I could breath financially. Imagine my delight when I discovered spinal injury pays at £200 per week. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angrypanda Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 I think it all comes down to knowing what you want. A lot of people (most?) really don't know what it is that would make them happy, even if they think they do. This is probably what people actually mean when they say that money doesn't buy happiness... It can, you're just buying the wrong shit (or worse still, the shit you want ain't for sale). e.g. If you win the euromillions and are less happy one year after the win than you were before it, you have made a series of awful mistakes (the first of which probably is going public about the win and having your name and address plastered all over the press). Anyway, for me, I think it's this that I want: -Job satisfaction, a decent salary, but enough free time to really enjoy life and spend enough time with friends and family, rather than feeling like I'm just earning money to pay the bills while I wait to retire +/ die (i.e. probably general practice or psychiatry, but that's a different conversation altogether) -To continue travelling the world, and spend at least one week per year skiing, as long as I am physically able -A nice house in the countryside -The love of a good woman (already got) ... probably kids later -A well trained, smart dog (probably a border collie) -To continue to play live music to an appreciative crowd -To supply myself with (not buy from a dealer) top-notch buds (just starting to do that now) Some of that might sound silly to some, but that's what I think I want (I may have forgotten one or two). Many of these things I already have, or I'm in the process of attaining them. Most of the items on my list are simple pleasures. I have a few wealthy friends, and while I do enjoy the expensive toys their millions bring them, I don't need that. Also, most such people have endured significant unpleasantness in various forms to get to that point, and it's not always worth it. On that note, I read a study a few months ago, I forget the exact details, but the aim was to assess the sample group's "happiness" and its correlation (or lack thereof) with their salary. They concluded that there are diminishing returns above ~£40k/year, meaning that you can work more stressful jobs/longer hours etc and make more money, but it won't necessarily do you any good. So it basically confirms what common sense tells us anyway, but with a neat cut-off point to aim for Anyway I've rambled enough for now, hope you have enjoyed it. See ya AngryPanda Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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