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You Know Your Stoned When....


Canna-Bliss

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In your haste to get on UK420 and finding your first choice of a user name has gone so you come up

with another comprising part of your original choice and your faithful dogs name which happens to be sat beside you at the time resulting in a name that would be best suited to an Afghanistani opium grower. :rolleyes:

lol

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When ye forget your 420 password ... typing 20 different ones into the box and giving up after 10 mins... only to realize ye just click forgot password to get it sent to your e mail addy that you were on in the 1st place :headpain::russian:

Drip :)

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  • 1 year later...

I have literally caught myself compulsively cleaning a stranger's apartment on some racy weed ...

what are the telltale signs for you?

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Well 10 mins ago i went on internet for something, I cant remember what,still? But I know it was important! I ended up here :wallbash: Wakenbake with hash was probably a bad idea :guitar: I thought this was worth a mention!

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I have literally caught myself compulsively cleaning a stranger's apartment on some racy weed ...

what are the telltale signs for you?

Did you break in first ;) cos that's burglary maybe you wanna calm down a bit Freeda :stoned:

I was gardening yesterday and got quite anal about the weeding I'd been doing one spot for about an hour lol

Gardening ala blackjack damn it's a nice smoke :yinyang:

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I was working on a watch last night and I was putting a strap back on. I lost a pin on the floor so set about looking for it. After moving an ironing board and several pairs of shoes, I decided to dust the floor down and clean the ironing board legs, this then turned into a full scale cleaning mission at 11:30pm. My missus put a stop to it in the end. I was really baked.

Edited by Lake Palmer
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A few weeks ago i was going to bed ,I had cleaned my teeth and was standing having a pee running my toungue round my minty fresh teeth when it dawned on me my dental plate was missing,Fuck me i thought thats gonna cost a fortune to replace.Went back downstairs looked everywhere ashtrays,wastepaper bins, on the floor into the kitchen no sign checked the pedal bin and remembered i had emptied it earlier,Out into the yard and retrieved the bag of kitchen waste from the rubbish bin and as i was sifting though it on the kitchen floor i remembered I DONT HAVE A FUCKING DENTAL PLATE....Drugs eh?

OR you walk a mile to the petshop thinking what the fuck did i do to my leg last night why the fuck am i limping?Only to get home and find out about an hour later the boots you are wearing are from two different pairs

ETA..And i mean who hasnt started to clean their teeth with a tube of Boots brushless shaving cream instead of Colgate

Edited by Jimboo
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I set off in my car once, drove some fifteen miles before I realised that I did not have a clue where I was, where I was trying to get to, or where I'd come from. I had to ring the missus for directional help. She suggested stubbing out the spliff. And she was right. I remembered after a while.....

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Here was my last proper stoner moment :skin_up:

I had the simple task of preparing a quick tea for myself as the rest of the Floyd family are ill with a nasty sickness bug.

Anyhoo, After a fat doobie, I looked around the kitchen ambitiously, first in the fridge, then the freezer followed by the cupboards.

My confidence soon faded when I realized that everything there needed a bit of work, normally I would chap on but it had been a long week and couldn't be arsed tbh.

I went back to the freezer and reluctantly settled on smiley Faces and beans :stoned:

Right, no problem, oven now been on and hot, smiley's in for 12 minutes.

Time for another doobie... 9 minutes pass...

I head back to the kitchen and pull a tin of Asda beans from the cupboard (other brands available)

My plan was simple, have the smileys and beans, cooked and ready at the same time, and that plan was nearing completion.

I placed the tin of beans on the worktop and reached for the tin opener.

The first attempt to secure the tin opener to the tin quickly failed, then the second, then the third. What the f@#ks going on! I thought.

I tried again with no success and , on close inspection of the rim I noticed it looked thicker

than I remembered, but then it's normally beans with pull of tops so figured this was the way this particular tin was manufactured.

I started cursing Asda for there stupidly designed tins while wrestling with the tin opener and tin, only ever managing to make a small puncture,

but never getting the thing going round.

I started questioning the tin openers performance, then questioning myself on my use of it, was I holding it wrong? Was it one that removes the whole top, rim and all,

or is it the more traditional one that just takes the lid off? I manoeuvred the tin opener in many angles, while realizing I had been at this for a few minutes by now and

the smiley's were ready! This put more pressure on me to get the beans out of that stupid tin.

After a final vigorous attempt the tin opener decided it had had enough abuse and split, literately!

Not having a back-up tin opener, I reached for a large knife, knowing it's going to get messy but I won't be defeated by a tin of Asda beans.

A bit of Dexter style stabbing later the beans were free!!!

I tipped them into a bowel to heat them in the microwave, and as doing so, realized than all along, the tin had been upside down. :wallbash::doh::ouch::blushing:

Edit: Thread Title and spelling

From here

Edited by GreenFloyd
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