Chal Posted March 28 Share Posted March 28 Okay, lads, shit's getting Real, here! My own, glorious, Grobe is now sitting there. Right behind me! Almost finished. And already a wondrous sight to behold! She's a fucking beauty and will Look like some rather tasteful, well put together piece of roomly artefact. I'm perfectly happy to see it there Trouble is; How the hell do I Explain it?!? I've just spoke to my neighbour, on the phone. I'd borrowed a tool off him, to work on it. I was saying how well His tool worked. And how Tom was bringing me a last bit of materials, toThatnight. Boosh! That's Two fucking people, 100% guaranteed to be in this room. Both known me decades. Both gonna be saying; " Wow! Yeah! Ye've made a great job of that! Even looks very nice! Well done! ..... What the fuck is it though?! " And I dunno!!! Mate one saw my actual Tent, all set up and stood there in the kitchen. Cunt asked, of course! I blurted out that I was gonna breed fucking Spiders in it. Hence it had " Spider Farmer " emblazoned all over it. He already has his serious doubts about me. So, I think he sort of took that as just the sort of shit he'd imagine I get up to, down here. Now, I'll be putting the tent in the Grobe. Tom's coming here, tonight. He's seen the tent, in the grobe. (I was fitting it) Tonight? Tent's back in the kitchen ~ back turned, so it's a Bit less iffy! Grobe's standing there, in all her doorless glory. It's patently a fucking great 'Box'. I'd previously laughed it off, with Tom. Said I'd be keeping the fucking Gimp in there! The Fuck do I say now? Especially when there's an air vent showing, on one side. And a carbon filter ~ which, yes, I'll probably disguise ~ on top. In my fucking living / bed room?! It's pretty as all fuck. It'll Look gorgeous. It just needs a 'Purpose'. A Reason for being there! I'm panicking. Cos I'm seeing my neighbour in an hour. We'll chat. His drill will be mentioned. My project. He's gonna fucking ask, isn't he?! Then, Tom's gonna be standing here, staring right at it!!! Best I can come up with is Mealworms!!! (Am I good?!) I keep chickens. They're notorious for selling their souls for mealworms. I have a fucking Bullfrog ~ neither of them know what That eats. But ... And, it's almost, sort of, kinda 'plausible', isn't it? " Yeah! Costing me a fortune, by the sack. Fuck that! Breed my own! They like it Warm and dark. The bang off them, eating all that bran, is a bit hot. But, crafty me's even put a fucking Filter on there, look! " Feel me? Could You swallow this shit, if ye knew absolutely Nothing about what us dope fiends really get up to? Coming from a guy ye already convinced is a fucking lunatic, anyway? I'm desperate, lads! You know the score; One single ~ even 'Best Mate' ~ twigs what's going on here? They'll tell Some cunt! Whole fucking area will know about " The Grow House " by this weekend!!! What ye reckon, lads? I could Never match The Blue Fridge! Hand of fucking God was on That one! But; Anyone beat 'Mealworm Colony' as a runner up? (And I've got less than an hour, before I'm talking! ) Funny as fuck, when ye look at it; Row of plants on ye bed sit window sill? Fuck 'em! Par for the course! Grown arsed man, quietly living a life of obscurity. Tucked away like a hermit? " WTF's That cupboard thing, in ye room? " And all hell breaks loose! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
handysmoker Posted March 28 Share Posted March 28 Sounds quite plausible to me, but what you gonna say if they ask to have a look inside 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MindSoup Posted March 28 Share Posted March 28 Sounds like you've already fucked it mate . No amount of lying will get you out of this. Either own up and hope they're cool or get paranoid as fuck and scrap the whole idea, those are the only two options I can see TBH, neither of them particularly appealing. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HazyDaze Posted March 28 Share Posted March 28 Everyone assumes ya growing weed with the slightest of things these days, people aren't stupid bro, especially when you make it so obvious! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arthur Mix Posted March 28 Share Posted March 28 If I was you I’d show them how to microwave chips instead , that be a great distraction Tbh that’s two people to many who know now 1 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chal Posted March 28 Author Share Posted March 28 2 hours ago, handysmoker said: Sounds quite plausible to me, but what you gonna say if they ask to have a look inside Naah. I mean, a Shed? Now, every man to walk the earth likes a crafty glimpse inside another mans shed! There may be wonders! But, mealworms?! Seriously; Who the Hell could get excited about poxy mealworms? It'd be like my Etchings! Offer to show them and they'd be like; " Oh. Worms? Er, lovely. Yeah. Maybe another time though? Gotta dash! " My neighbour only really Ever sets foot in this room when he wants me to look up some fucking tractor part, on this thing. (Funny; Because he's got a i phone, and I'm pretty sure That's connected? Maybe ..... Dunno! Accounts. I imagine he hasn't got any accounts with anyone.) Other one? He just brings me home, once a week. Must come in here, maybe twice in a year? I'll try do drag him in here, once the door's on. Show him that. I can just throw in that I need to 'fit it out, inside, now.' Then, I can launch into an enthusiastic and detailed explanation of the finer points of mealworm cultures. His fucking eyes will glaze over and he'll be out that door faster than hot shit! Word'll soon spread: " Cunt's breeding fucking 'mealworms', now! Don't, for godsake set him off about Those bloody things! Ye know what he's like! " Yeah. Been thinking about it, all day. I reckon I've cracked it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arthur Mix Posted March 28 Share Posted March 28 Maybe they ask you for Frass for their cannabis plants after all ecothrive charge is mealworm shite irc 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
handysmoker Posted March 28 Share Posted March 28 11 minutes ago, Chal said: Seriously; Who the Hell could get excited about poxy mealworms? maybe ill move in next door .... it's the 1st thing i would ask ... however you do know your neighbours ... or do you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chal Posted March 28 Author Share Posted March 28 23 minutes ago, Arthur Mix said: Maybe they ask you for Frass ... When I genuinely Was keeping live worms? Yeah! I'd sit here for Hours, fucking around with sieves and boxes. Sifting the Frass out. Found it therapeutic Went the same way all this flower AVB's going, in the end though. No cunt to give it to! Only Got three neighbours. And only the one of them has anything to do with me. Asked if his wife had any house plants. Then slung the lot Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chal Posted March 28 Author Share Posted March 28 21 minutes ago, handysmoker said: maybe ill move in next door .... it's the 1st thing i would ask ... however you do know your neighbours ... or do you Next door? That'll be a hundred yards away then, as the crow flies. Fucking mile or two, along the track! Other neighbours are a ten minute walk! One's disowned me, for Some fucking mysterious reason. Other's my 'mate', who I only see, now, because he brings me my hay and drops by when he wants something for one of his tractors. If it weren't for simple practicalities ~ like the hay, and my paying him to take me into the village, once a week? I doubt I'd see any cunt here, Ever! And, the odd person stepping through my gate is usually doing so because they want something, then they can't wait to get out! Nope. Won't be long and my Grobe will be long forgotten about. Suits me 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
handysmoker Posted March 28 Share Posted March 28 Sounds nice ... take away the hay bit, and it be close to happy as i can be .... now i fecking jealous 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chal Posted March 28 Author Share Posted March 28 'Sup with the hay??? That's for the horses ( I was gonna say; 'I get a lot less shit from my animals than I do most people.' Hmmm. Those fucking horses though! ) 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
handysmoker Posted March 28 Share Posted March 28 Nothing ... not me. You got your horses I got my 2 wheeled speed machine .... different horses .... I do love animals, and horses are pretty cool ... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flamedodger Posted March 28 Share Posted March 28 When I had my tent up, a relative spotted it in my shed and asked me what it was. Spray booth for kitchen doors I told them…..”Oh good idea having the extraction” they replied I will actually be using it for a spray booth when I spray my kitchen doors and use my old rvk, just need a drying rack. Just an idea, it worked for me 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chal Posted March 28 Author Share Posted March 28 1 hour ago, Flamedodger said: Spray booth for kitchen doors ... Bravo!!! See? Now That's the sort of thinking I Like! Fit shit to suit ye circumstances! Ye know what they say about subterfuge ~ (I'm Loathe to Lie. But, innocent and harmless smoke and mirrors isn't so bad) 'Always bung in just enough Truth to the mix.' You ~ obviously ~ do a bit of spray painting. I keep creatures. You probably have a compressor and sprayer laying about. I have this frog. He's not a small frog. And nobody but me knows I have young Rats in my freezer! I say; " Fuck, yeah! Between him and those chickens? Have you Seen the price of fucking mealworms?! It's all about priorities; I can breed my own for a lot cheaper! " And, of course, people just back out the door, a rictus grin on their faces 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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