Hello...?

[NonhumanEntity]

Not really sure what to put here. Middle-aged-ish. Bristol area. I don't really know what to say here because I always end up falling foul of rules on forums. I'm just looking for a bit of solidarity, bit of support. Not growing because my current situation doesn't allow it. 

 

I'm posting this on my 1,521st day as a Court of Protection hostage. I was dumped in Bristol on 08/08 and spent 3 months in BRI. I don't know what the fuck's going on. Nobody will tell me anything. I've been told I'm not mental ill and that I don't lack capacity (I do have PTSD which this situation is exacerbating. It's like living with an extremely controlling partner. The flat door is alarmed, so I have no freedom; they have stopped my benefits, so I'm skint; I am NOT ALLOWED to buy my own food ("the CoP has said that, if you buy food we are to bin it"). I am regularly assaulted by staff. Obviously you can imagine the effect this has had - is having - on my physical and mental health. If people come to the flat to see me, staff tell them to fuck off. I am not allowed visitors. If someone comes here in an official capacity, I am not allowed any privacy to speak to them. I have no phone because they stole it. 

 

I am given one meal a day, often inedible. If I want anything else, I have to beg staff for it (and they can't cook. I have been given raw pork and chicken and cremated steak). I have a chronic illness which is exacerbated by certain foods (grains and legumes are the worst offenders) so, when I am given food, because staff are ignoring my dietary needs, I have to either eat something I know will make me sick - or starve.

 

The username...? I am no longer human. I am being denied my human rights. I have no right to life, no right to privacy, no right to freedom and the way I am being treated is inhuman. 

 

They will be searching the room again this evening, Last time they did so, I was forcibly dragged into the living room, held on the floor, prone, with a 21+st Nigerian bint sitting on my neck, in such a way that I couldn't lift my head. When I told her I couldn't breathe, she just laughed and said that I'd "brought it on" myself for "refusing to cooperate" (they knew I wasn't well and that I was in bed and resting. They literally barged into the bedroom gave me all of 30 seconds to wake up and get out of bed). 

 

If this is inappropriate, I'll fuck off. Been shooting off emails to everywhere round here I think ought to be able to do summat to help and just being met with radio silence. Nobody seems to care. My family certainly doesn't. 

 

I could REALLY use a blunt. All I've got is Kratom and it's not doing shit. 

 

By the way, does anyone. know owt about the bust on the Lockleaze estate...? Rozzers crowing about seizing "around £10k of plants and equipment". I don't know what the street price is these days, but that must be all off about 100g.... Wish the fuckers would find something more useful to do with their time. At least half of them can't tell cannabis from a tomato plant... 

 

Anyway, that's me. Nonhuman. Nonentity. Nothing. I could've done owt, y'know...? World just doesn't want me to having any kind of meaningful existence. 

[ratdog]

32 minutes ago, NonhumanEntity said:

I am not allowed any privacy to speak to them. I have no phone because they stole it. 

 

 

but you have a broadband connection with no money can use it with no privacy?

[mikeydoughnut]

[NonhumanEntity]

What I meant was I have no privacy in the flat. Staff barge in whenever they feel like it and I have been assaulted by them several times. The whole situation is just so completely bizarre and fucked up, that it makes no fucking sense. 

 

I can't leave the flat because the flat front door is alarmed; if people come to see me here staff basically tell them to fuck off. I am given one meal a day and I am not allowed to buy my own food (because staff tell me that they've been told by the Court of Protection that they are to chuck it if I do. Not that I can because my benefits have been stopped).

 

Prior to being dumped here, I was in Bristol Royal, where I saw two consultant shrinks who stated that I didn't lack mental capacity, I wasn't mentally ill or disordered and that I wasn't suicidal. Yet here I am, 6 months later, still a hostage. This is now day 1,528. I'm fucking sick of people promising to help me (obviously that's no dig at anyone here because nobody knows who I am) and then just fucking off. I can't live on false hope anymore. 

 

I'm mid-40s and just feeling like my life is now completely over. I've been dumped in Bristol (I've been sent all round England now) where I don't know anyone. I wasn't suicidal before this shit happened, I've no fucking idea why it IS happening (because no fucker will tell me anything).

 

I have PTSD from an abusive relationship - and I was just beginning to get my life back on track, then this shite happened and now I feel like I'm living in one continuous flashback. I'd started singing again (I'd recorded a couple of demos, but they're now lost). I'm probably too ancient now to make a goer of that. 

 

I'm sorry for the late response. Energy is somewhat fleeting. 

 

So, that's me. If anyone knows where I can get some kind of support here, I'd be grateful (and if anyone was willing to bust me out, I'd be even more grateful. If I could get the bedroom window open, I'd have jumped out by now). I am in so much fucking pain, I'd fucking kill for a blunt right now. Gets lonely here, y'know...?

 

Hugs and Love

 

NHE

🩵🩷

 

 

[Keye]

Welcome to UK420 @NonhumanEntity

 

The whole site is setup so that you can learn all you need to grow your own cannabis.

 

Being in such a wonderful world means that people who like growing cannabis come from every part of the society and that brings with it a broad and varied knowledge base on many things. Many shared experiences can also be found and used to help grow better weed; I have also found that the crossover has enabled me to get perspectives I would not otherwise be able to obtain. It's pretty great.

 

Growing your own with help and advise can take a long time; truly, the only way to really succeed is to ensure you are capable and control your own action to enable outcomes. Learn what you can do better and improve for the next grow. The journey of learning is the grow itself. Not a grow, rather all your grows one after another are the grow entirely. 

 

I'm sorry to hear your situation is so stark. Honestly, I have never found myself in such a position and I wish you the best. Often, just making a decision, regardless of whether it turns out good or bad, is the best action; moving forward is important and like growing weed, it's not each individual step you make that will be the growth, but the pattern of them strung together. You can plant a seed at any time and if it doesn't work out, you can plant another seed. But if you never plant a seed, you'll never grow your own weed.

 

Also, White Runtz is really strong.

 

 

Edited February 9 by Keye

[lildaveham]

@NonhumanEntity

 

Welcome to the site and I’m sorry to hear of your situation, it truly sounds awful.

 

We exist purely to help folks grow their own supply of Cannabis. 
 

Whilst sympathetic to your situation please stop hinting that you need help with your supply and could “kill for a blunt” . Any requests for supply of cannabis will result in the member being banned for life so please take this as a friendly final warning. 
 

[The Green Manalishi]

My missus goes on the same way when she wants something.