GreenVision Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 Competition 5. The prize for this competition is a pack of 10 Oldtimers B-Line This competition will be a little different from the first lot. I'm going to take Distracted's comp idea here as I am running out of them.... All you need to do to win is post something funny, and the highest number of likes on any post will win the comp. As always Members can post 1 entry, Subscribes can post 2 entries and Lifetime Subscribers get to post 3. Don't forget to make your posts separate if your a Subscriber. All the normal Site Rules apply. Be aware that you will need a safe address to have your seeds sent to, so just bear that in mind before posting folks. All postage will be covered so you just need somewhere to have your prize sent. The competition will end 08/01/2017 at 12:00 noon. A little longer than the rest as I really want everyone to be in with a shot on these as OT1's seeds are a little rarer than some of the others. I know that's a long time to wait but it wouldn't be fair to folks who have less time to be on-line. Best of luck to all and happy new year everyone. GV. 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NuVista Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 Did you hear about the man with no legs.. He was asked to leave the cinema for standing on the seats Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FARMER G Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 Who's oldtimer ??!! Farmer 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 Little Bo Peep lost her sheep, But, she soon knew where to find them, When she got there , Paddington Bear, In his wellies, was standing behind them. Thanks for the generosity GV , happy New Year all Peace B Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teeth Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 The reviews are hilarious a bit of reading but another that brought tears https://www.amazon.com/Haribo-Sugar-Free-Gummy-Bears/dp/B008JELLCA/ref=cm_cr_arp_d_product_top?ie=UTF8 1.0 out of 5 starsJust don't. Unless it's a gift for someone you hate. By Christine E. Torok on October 3, 2012 Verified Purchase Oh man...words cannot express what happened to me after eating these. The Gummi Bear "Cleanse". If you are someone that can tolerate the sugar substitute, enjoy. If you are like the dozens of people that tried my order, RUN!First of all, for taste I would rate these a 5. So good. Soft, true-to-taste fruit flavors like the sugar variety...I was a happy camper.BUT (or should I say BUTT), not long after eating about 20 of these all hell broke loose. I had a gastrointestinal experience like nothing I've ever imagined. Cramps, sweating, bloating beyond my worst nightmare. I've had food poisoning from some bad shellfish and that was almost like a skip in the park compared to what was going on inside me.Then came the, uh, flatulence. Heavens to Murgatroyd, the sounds, like trumpets calling the demons back to Hell...the stench, like 1,000 rotten corpses vomited. I couldn't stand to stay in one room for fear of succumbing to my own odors.But wait; there's more. What came out of me felt like someone tried to funnel Niagara Falls through a coffee straw. I swear my sphincters were screaming. It felt like my delicate starfish was a gaping maw projectile vomiting a torrential flood of toxic waste. 100% liquid. Flammable liquid. NAPALM. It was actually a bit humorous (for a nanosecond)as it was just beyond anything I could imagine possible.AND IT WENT ON FOR HOURS.I felt violated when it was over, which I think might have been sometime in the early morning of the next day. There was stuff coming out of me that I ate at my wedding in 2005.I had FIVE POUNDS of these innocent-looking delicious-tasting HELLBEARS so I told a friend about what happened to me, thinking it HAD to be some type of sensitivity I had to the sugar substitute, and in spite of my warnings and graphic descriptions, she decided to take her chances and take them off my hands.Silly woman. All of the same for her, and a phone call from her while on the toilet (because you kinda end up living in the bathroom for a spell) telling me she really wished she would have listened. I think she was crying.Her sister was skeptical and suspected that we were exaggerating. She took them to work, since there was still 99% of a 5 pound bag left. She works for a construction company, where there are builders, roofers, house painters, landscapers, etc. Lots of people who generally have limited access to toilets on a given day. I can't imagine where all of those poor men (and women) pooped that day. I keep envisioning men on roofs, crossing their legs and trying to decide if they can make it down the ladder, or if they should just jump.If you order these, best of luck to you. And please, don't post a video review during the aftershocks.PS: When I ordered these, the warnings and disclaimers and legalese were NOT posted. I'm not a moron. Also, not sure why so many people assume I'm a man. I am a woman. We poop too. Of course, our poop sparkles and smells like a walk in a meadow of wildflowers. Thanks for all the great comments. I've been enjoying reading them and so glad that the horror show I experienced from snacking on these has at least made some people smile. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GSZZ Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 Yorkshiremans loyal whippet passes away, and in honor he wants a golden cast of the dog making so off he pops down to see the goldsmith. He explains what he wants, and the goldsmith agrees and asks some finer detail questions, before finally asking "Do yer want it 18 carat?" "Nay lad, chowing a bone or something will be reyt" he replies 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GSZZ Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NiceCuppaTea4Me Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vince noir rock n roll star Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fxq6Jsm3C-Q 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vince noir rock n roll star Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PpccpglnNf0 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vince noir rock n roll star Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kb6bWsa_LdQ honeybadger making this post a ugorg one . 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rufus Brown Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 Just bought some shoes of a drug dealer Don't know what he laced them with but I've been tripping all day 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HEMPFRUIT Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 : What's the difference between a rabbi and a priest? ..... A rabbi cuts them off; A priest sucks them off! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HEMPFRUIT Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? They don't. They arrest the bulb for being broke and beat the room for being black 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NuVista Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 I have kicked the habbit..I am down to one spliff a day packed with an ounce of bud .. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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