Depression Problem

[rocky]

hi

my gf suffers from depression, she also doesnt eat much. This is because she doesnt get very hungry and she doesnt like many foods. chicken.... thats about it, and shes sick of it. She gets very tired, and its all a cycle, one problem is the cause of another.

shes very negative about herself but is extremely kind to others. obviously her depression effects me too. She doesnt accept compliments and is paranoid that il leave her even though she knows i love her too much.

Shes allways been put down by her father, which i believe to be one of the main reasons for her low self esteam

WEED IS OUT OF THE QUESTION.

shes doesnt like it, never tried it but she doesnt like me smokin it really. she'l never smoke it so forget it. although id expect it to solve many of her problems (eating, depression etc).

shes talked to her Dr but he didnt say anything helpful.

i duno who to ask about it really, but u guys are wise in ur ways. do you know of anything that might help her? herbal remedies etc. Iv looked through a traditional modern medical book, but alot of it goes right over my head.

shit i duno wot else to do, it cuts me up to see her unhappy, knowing that my best attempts only solve the problem for half the day.

please help

rocky

ps. shes on the pill so could this effect her or the medicine she can take?

[Labrat]

'lo rocky,

weed is unlikely to be of assistance to her. Farmweb'll slate me for this, but has she tried any of the pharmaceutical treatments? SSRI's such as prozac or mirtazipine (not seroquel) are effective, given time.

Herbally, there's always St.Johns Wort. Word of warning though, it has been known to reduce the effectiveness of the pill. Could be time to get that rubber mac on ...

good luck.

[bigcheggs]

Rocky,

firstly, you need to continually remind your gf how important she is to you.

give recognition for things you might normally have taken for granted.

i don't need to tell you what to say as i,m sure you have heaped praise on her before(and maybe still do) but just let her know how valuable she is to you and anybody else who knows her.

that should help with the old confidence prob.

also, has she tried Dr.Bachs floral treatments(this stuff is the dogs bollocks). you can get this stuff from boots, it comes in wee bottles with the squeezy tube thing on the lid. you can also make up your own "rescue remedy"based on your symptoms.

mrs chegwin is away upstair the now with some rescue remedy to help her belly through the old monthlies.works a treat m8.

also again, is it not possible for her to come off the pill and for you to stick a wee polly bag on when you feel the need. i know the pill isn't just for contraception but also regulates periods etc etc but i am strongly against the pill as i have witnessed how fucked mrs cheggs was for a while and it turned out to be the pill she was taking.

if she knows she has your love Rocky then your half way there already mate,

peace..................bigcheggs

man i need a doobie after that and i dont have a fuffin thing. aah well back to the fingernails.

[rocky]

firstly, you need to continually remind your gf how important she is to you.

give recognition for things you might normally have taken for granted.

i don't need to tell you what to say as i,m sure you have heaped praise on her before(and maybe still do)

trust me man, i compliment her loads, she knows all this and i tell her it regularly. thing is she doesnt take compliments well, and often rejects them etc. Its well known that shes fit as fuck but shes the only person that doesnt see it.

also, has she tried Dr.Bachs floral treatments(this stuff is the dogs bollocks). you can get this stuff from boots, it comes in wee bottles with the squeezy tube thing on the lid. you can also make up your own "rescue remedy"based on your symptoms.

whats in this stuff? its fairly vague wot ur on about there m8.

iv thought that the pill culd be the problem before, but sex with a condom sucks. pfft i duno. anyway, off to bed, nn

rocky

[Detritus]

Hello mate, I sympathise totaly - I suffer from severe depression and have for years.

She may need to go back to her gp and ask for help - even if she's not sure she needs it there is a really long waiting list in most areas so best to get her name down now just in case - she can always turn what ever comes through down if she's feeling better.

She may need to change her gp - some are very unsympathetic - especially to women and put a lot of it down to hormones from their mestrual cycle. Do you know anyone else that has been ill - find out if their gp was helpful and if so change her gp - its as easy as filling out a couple of forms and well worth doing if it means she will get the help she needs. I can honestly say that going to my gp and insisting that he refer me to a psychiatris AND a psychologist is the best thing that my parents ever did for me. Don't get me wrong, there's no easy cure - tablets help but can have real shitty sideeffects (avoid Seroxat and Venlafaxine/effexor especially - the latter is very addictive as I know to my cost) and it's very individual - what works great for one person may be awful for another person - its a kind of suck it and see process of trying things until you find something that works for you.

The best person to talk to about alternative remedies is FarmWeb (from my previous very stimulating discussion with him) - he's a sound bloke and will offer good advice and a grounded opinion. Have a search on the previous posts under 'depression'.

Something I would heartly recommend is "overocming low self esteem" by Melanie Fennell ISBN 1-85487-725-9. It's only about £6 from amazon or whsmiths online and is brilliant. It's Cognitive Behavioural Therapy(CBT) - a new type of therapy that helps people look at why they feel the way they do, the way it effects them and how to make it better. It's not a miracle cure, but is superb if you can get your head round it (this is the easiest book I've found and was given to me by my Psychologist who teaches CBT). Really can't recommend it enough - go and order it now! She may not get on with it(some people don't - it's an individual thing) but its worth a couple of quid to see.

Sorry to rant on so long, good luck mate - she's at the start of a long road but it's well worth it and you'll both grow incredibly. And one of the best things she can do is talk honestly and openly to people who she feels comfortable talking to - and also talk to other sufferers - knowing that you're not the only one who feels the way you do is one of the best things that can happen to you!

peace,

Det

[bigcheggs]

Rocky, sorry about the vagueness mate

the floral man

thats the website for you,

cheers............cheggs

p.s think about it rocky

[native beats]

Hey rocky, sorry to hear about your lady. That sounds rough. I can’t help on the relationship part, I’m too strange a person and led too random a life to have had any meaningful lasting relationship. Most people know how to take care of their lady the best I can tell you how I’ve dealt with problems and suggest some herbs and give you some info on the pill though

Not eating is hard on the body. You need food for energy and to be able to do anything. You can get very depressed just from not eating.

Eating is very hard for me. My jaw muscles and digestion track are in a lot of pain most of the time. Cannabis is by far the strongest appetite stimulant that I have ever tried. Even if she were to eat the tiniest amount in a chocolate bar or cookie or maybe a liquid form(maybe banana, bud milk shake?) I think it would help greatly. But a large amount to get stoned might worsen the depression if she’s not sure about it.

Damn that Anslinger, how could he dare. It is a medicine.

What herbs do you use in cooking? Using some for medical and culinary use are often the same. As well as increasing the taste of the food and the look you can give some nutrients to your probably nutrient starved bodies. Remember the look of the food is very important. What about eating out? It costs more, but if you make it a special occasion she would more likely be in a good mood to eat usually looks good too. Its hard to start eating once you stop(your stomach shrinks and you think you need less food, your muscles are no longer use to the motion), it might be a good way to start.

Things like oregano(marjoram is almost medically identical) tastes potent and has hundreds of nutrients in it. Parsley doesn’t taste but looks good and also has hundreds of nutrients in it. Fresh are better for nutrients but dried will still have them and the taste and look.

Fenugreek or in middle eastern or Indian dishes it is called methi, it is good for taste and is an appetite stimulant and good for abdominal cramps.

I’ve read that something called wood avens or bennet can be used in cooking or as a tea for appetite and digestive stimulation.

Ginger and garlic are very tasty and good for you but quite strong.

Basil and rosemary can be good for depression and I love the taste of them. I make a nice infused oil of rosemary that has a very pleasing smell. These are very mild anti-depressants.

For tea’s Angelica is also an appetite stimulant. I like the taste but lots don’t

I can’t eat many processed factory sauces or spices so I grow my own and make very tasty things I’ve traveled lots around the world and studied their cooking while I was there I wish you could come over for dinner

Does she have problems digesting? Probably not but if she did watercress is an amazing source of nutrients and is a digestive stimulant. Mustard is also a digestive stimulant. Again though cannabis is the best digestive stimulant I have ever tried.

If she is in danger of not eating at all and she is wasting, she should see a doctor and most likely get an SSRI. It is the only time I would recommend an SSRI, when life is in danger. They are so poisonous, some are phenethylamines (if you remember from my other post on legal drugs, the base alkaloid is mescaline). Besides that though they work so well they can replace your body’s natural mood and eating stabilization engine and leave you screwed afterwards if you are on them too long. They would most likely help all symptoms though. And there are many side effects too that are nasty.

Serotonin is the body’s main mood, sleeping and eating stabilisation brain chemical. Dopamine also plays a role. Most recreational drugs play upon these for effect.

Umm that’s just eating and depression crossing over, sorry for the book but I can’t explain in shorter, for depression a psychiatrist may be a good option too. They have helped me through some tough times in my life, usually I’ve only needed a few visits each time but they can be good people to help you if you’re lucky

Lemon balm makes a relaxing tea and is said to help depression. (I make a tea also with lavender and chamomile and is very soothing.

An old folk remedy for depression was oats and vervain. The oatstraw and grains. A bowl of porridge and vervain. Mmmm oatmeal… hehe… Doesn’t appeal to me however. I would have to add loads of spices to make it interesting. Vervain was used in witchcraft in fortune telling rights up until the 17th century.

St Johns wort and passion flower have a very weak amount of a MAOI(if you remember from my other post as well, and yes the exact same type as the Syrian rue, harmala alkaloids). These were the first pharmaceutical anti-depressants back in the 70’s I think(maybe 50’s?). It is such a small amount in these that you do not normally need to worry about contra-indications, but if taken regular for a long time can build up and i would watch what you eat. The contra-indications as you know, are extreme. These would probably help They didn't for me though at one point when I was severly depressed i took them for about 6 months but I didn't change any other point in my life so they didn't have much effect. I nearly gave up on herbs after that until people on this board told me to try again, that was a year ago If your depression is environment based(a situation causing it) and you don't change your environment your not going to get better I've also realised that all food and herbs are drugs

I have never tried bach’s flower remedies but they have helped many people. He made a list of remedies and a suggested use of a plant. You go through the list identifying your problems and mix the remedies with some water and take a drop of the liquid when you need. For deep gloom and depression he(Dr Bach) suggested mustard. He has a lot of weird ailment cures like “for a refusal to learn from past mistakes take chestnut bud.” I’ve never heard of chestnut bud(buds from a chestnut tree?), but I guess they have it in liquid form Check here if you’re interested, there’s 38 of them http://www.bachcentre.com/centre/remedies.htm

For the pill:

There are not many contra-indications with the pill. Mostly problems if you’ve had blood clots or strokes.

I found this for rare cases:

Special Problems

• Women with PCO: Desogen or Orthocept

• Weight > 160 lbs: Ortho-Novum 1/3

• Smokers age 35 & over ,hyperlipidemia, or cardiovascular risk factors: micronor

• Ammenorheic on pill: Change to pill with higher endometrial activity

• Excessive water retention: Change to pill with lower androgenic activity

• Fatigue or depression: lower progestin dose . Consider vitamin B6 25 mg qd

• Irritability no edema :Increase estrogen (not to exceed 35 mcg )

• irritability with edema: Change to lower estrogenic activity

• Mood swings: Change to monophasic pill

From: Managing Contraceptive Pill Patients. Dickey RP 8th ed,1994 Essential medical systems

Source http://192.215.104.222/obgyn/cobra/cobra/T...COL/Cntrcpt.htm

The pill can in rare cases cause some problems with depression depending on what type she is taking. Unusual migraines or pains can be a side effect too.

Some anti-seizure medications and antibiotics such as penicillin and tetracycline may lessen the Pill's effectiveness.

Those cycles you talk about are dangerous and extremely hard to get out of. I have been in and out of them all my life. It usually requires a string of good luck and some change to get out of them for me. I hope you have some heading your way

Good luck and I hope you find some help in all that, I've been studying medical herbalism, part time, for the last few months, combined with my life long passion for drugs i know quite a bit but I have a long way to go feel free to ask more questions, i might know

And its great that you can help her for even half the day. Better than not at all and soon it will rise. Slowly but surely

Peace and take care

Edited October 14, 2003 by native beats

[Vlad (the impala)]

just read the above posts - some good sound advice about! My main recommendation would be for her to avoid nhs medicine like the plague, they're all too ready to prescribe 'orrible dangerous chemicals, which will only make her worse, and sometimes hang a damn silly label on her condition which is only going to set her back further! If you haven't got a lot of money, you can demand referral to a homoeopathic doctor on the nhs - its an excellent system of medicine, and very safe! - if you can find a few bob (and its worth every penny!), I'd seek out a Traditional Chinese Acupuncturist (I posted the address of a search engine somewhere) - they are wonderful at finding the root cause of her problems, and putting them right safely and gently -and they are wonderful at things like low self esteem.

In the meantime, the biggy has got to be zinc (when you don't eat enough you get short of it, your appetite goes, and you get into a downward spiral). So - health food shop (NOT a chemist - they sell synthesised,weak forms of vitamins, and best avoided!) - the most powerful zinc tablets they have - triple the dose stated for a couple of weeks - along with vitamin "B" complex (strongest you can find) - triple the dose - this is wonderful for the nervous system/digestion, and if you can afford it, a good vitamin and mineral supplement. Go for long walks if you can, preferably in the countryside -its amazing what gentle exercise can do for the appetite!

Last but not least, while I'm spending your money, avoid the big chains (like Olan Mills) - seek out a local photographer, and get her a "makeover" done - its amazing what good photos of a lady looking her best can do for her self-esteem!

Good luck mate, just love her a lot, that'll help most of all..........

[bigcheggs]

My main recommendation would be for her to avoid nhs medicine like the plague, they're all too ready to prescribe 'orrible dangerous chemicals, which will only make her worse, and sometimes hang a damn silly label on her condition which is only going to set her back further!

too damn right farmweb, these fuckers are way too quick in handing out there bloody tranquilisers and sending you out there surgery with a big fuckin "I'm depressed" sign on your back. I feel pretty strong about this as i've seen it happen to the closest people in my life( not all of them),

peace............bigcheggs

[cf]

hi rocky , sorry to hear about your girl , she has a big advantage however over many other people suffering this illness and that is having you , someone who so obviously cares a great deal about her.

there is good advice in all the posts i've read above but i'd just like to add my experience and stick up for conventional psychiatry just a little .

my father became extremely depressed a few years back (he had good reason to ) and together we struggled thru assesments/mis diagnosis/wrongly prescribed meds/psychotic episodes and a spell in a psychiatric unit. the doctors we saw were usually over worked and probably a little fatalistic in there prognosis,my dad is in his 80's and they probably thought that if they could only ease him into his dotage with sedatives they would have done a good job.

a couple of years down the line my dad is living independantly on his own for the first time in ages,he has new friends , has taken up bridge and feels much better about things .he had some counselling and is on a low dose ssri still ,he still gets down but he copes with it.

i think the mental health system will fuck you over if your not careful ,i could tell you several different stories of people who didnt emerge any happier and probably would have been better off not getting any professional help at all,but the success storys are there too.

in a minute there will be a knock on my front door and the single mum who live in a flat upstairs will come in for a coffee.since embarking on a course of anti depressants she has found the confidence to sever all contact with her violent coke head ex,has met a new man who treats her right,and has got a job.a year ago weekends on our communal stairway were all about police ,blood ,screaming and knives ,this sunday i went in to borrow a roasting tray and the whole family ,her kids +new mans kids are all curled up watching a video.

in the light of the changes brought about in the lives of friends and family i cannot dismiss psychiatric drugs out of hand,they have their place as a chemical crutch to prop you up while you get your life back on track,the're not the answer but they can help you thru the pain whilst your looking for it.

peace

c f

[webby]

Hiya Rocky M8,

You've got some pretty sound advice here which I don't think I can add too much to.

My GF used to suffer pretty bad with mood swings, it would turn very rapidly by being all kind and considerate one minute to being a right evil cow the next. She would always cry about how shitty her life is etc etc. She suffered from this for years.

After many visits to the GP with different changes of the pill she's finally found an even balance. It appears that it was a huge part of the pill playing the devil.

She's now on a fairly low dosage of the pill and all seems to be well and good.

I would suggest that keep her off the pill for a good 3 months so that the body remains back to normal then see how she feels then. What harm can it do? At least it would rule out one possibility. Ok so you'd have to wear a glove but so what if it's helping the mrs

If your GP ever reccomends Seroxat/Peroxatine then run a mile. I was on this stuff for a little over 5 years but that's another story

Good luck with it all, I'm sure you can't fail with all the advice peeps have given you here

All the best

WEBBY

[Vlad (the impala)]

I don't doubt that low dosages of some chemicals can be of help on a temporary basis - but have no doubt that had they been given safe natural herbal remedies instead, they would have been even more beneficial - without the attendant dangers of introducing chemicals into the body with which it was never designed to cope!

I'd also agree about trickcyclists - a wise one can help you get over problems, but there are far too many bad ones out there who'll happily hang a convenient label on you, and reach for their prescription pad!

[Arnold Layne]

Just catching up after being away for a while .....

Can't add to Farmwebs advice, and that of others...

Do read through old posts on "Depression", there's some good stuff in there

All the best

[rocky]

wow thanks guys, your support and kind words a very much appreciated.

I dont have as much control of the matter as i would like as we both live with our parents still. Id love to take her out for a meal but one of the reasons she doesnt eat much is just simply she doesnt like food.

she stayed over last night and this morning she didnt want any food, i insisted that she eat and reluctantly she ate a slice of toast so that i wudnt worry about her.

she doesnt like to talk about her problems, even to me, and its often only when shes really upset that she'l tell me why.

i dont want her to take a load of dangerous nhs perscribed drugs which just cause teens to commit suicide. I tried twice myself a few years ago but found help with new and old real friends, help from my family and abit of luck. I was never takin drugs for it tho.

Il raise the issue of the pill next time she is low, and try pusuade her to try some herbal remedies. shes good atm tho

thanks for all your help guys, right bunch of sorted geezers!

rocky

ps. she just sent me a txt sayin she loves me, awwwww

pps. iv often found a night of hot sex makes her feel better!

[mindhunter]

Hi Rocky

I don't want to open a can of worms......but I had a similar situation with my GF of 5 years. It turned out she was bulemic.. I loved this woman with all my heart ( and still do even though we broke up a year ago) and I had no idea she was bulemic... I only found out into the 4th year we were going out. I felt like such an idiot...for not realising!!! but what can I say she was the master of deception and was really good at hiding it. I think the depression came from a shitty diet and shitty outlook on life. I could be totally wrong but just something I experienced...not the best year of my life!

I totally agree that GP's etc are not the people to speak too...homoeopathic medicine is definately the way rather than been pumped full of crap that will add to the depression and confusion.

good luck to you mate , I hope you guys find the right answer.

MH