Growing for chronic autoimmune disorders: balanced CBD/THC

[MissusRhapsody]

Hello everyone - I aten't ded!

 

Well, that was an adventure - flare after flare, one triggered after the first vaccination. The second was a different brand, and went a lot better. I am, for a manner of speaking, somewhat stabilised! The pain management dose of medication in my scrip was expensive but very worth it. I'm not sure I could have got through that hell without it.

 

I have been spending a lot of the past few months trying to come to grips with a fair slice of PTSD - I've had some very close near-misses, but never that close. Trauma has left its bootstamps on my spirit before, but I've never had to navigate it on this level before, and essentially on my own. Mental health services are overloaded, and so I've formed a protective ring around my sanity with friends who have, through one way or another, survived what their bodies threw at them.  

 

So, my self-appointed NOPE time allowed me to exhale and stitch together my jagged psyche with superglue and gentle temps on the vape for the anxiety levels. Again...I hadn't expected for that to be part of my current treatment, but I'm glad the cannabis has been able to help. My husband's experience in his youth with cannabis was the opposite, and I was leery, but mental health is steadying. 

 

I spent my 50th birthday in the complicated headspace of someone ill enough to wonder if it was worth it - while also being pretty impressed I made it that far. It's made me willing to try new things once my home access gets better. I'm now using my powerchair most of the time, and I rather enjoy doing it. Moving around doesn't hurt anymore, and I have more energy to do things. We're getting a ramp installed so I can get outside, and I am clinging to the hope I can get out on my own and stick my toes in the water in the loch outside. 

 

Soon.  SOON.

 

Yes, I'm alive - but better still, even though it may be brief, I am ALIVE. I've spent the better part of three years in a bed, and I can finally control my pain effectively enough to even consider doing things like swimming - good grief, when was the last time I went swimming? I think it's been ten years. And maybe it's an impossible dream, but the fact I can actually think about lifting weights for the first time in a decade - and I have a physiotherapist willing to help me figure it out - gives me something to look forward to. it helps I live in a really remote area, though. The less I think about the horror of "Freedom Day" for someone who has an immune system powered by a geriatric gerbil running on a Prius rim as a wheel....the better.

 

I don't expect it will last long, but at least I'm past the point where all I could think of was whether I could endure the pain for just one more hour. I know from experience those days will return - but now I have a better strategy to combat it, and a team that knows what it looks like when my body is about to lose its proverbial shit.

 

For now, I'm going to enjoy the heat (yes, I'm weird like that) and maybe spot some more dolphins outside, squealing like a 3 year old as I do EVERY SINGLE TIME, because it will never get old. 

 

(Cheers for the heads up on seeds; I will potentially make an investment as my own stock is diminished)

 

Edited July 21, 2021 by MissusRhapsody

[Larry Badgeley]

@MissusRhapsody. Can you share an update? Re reading this has me thinking of you.