Twas the night before Christmas

[Guest 123456]

Twas the night before Christmas

and all through the house,

everyone felt shitty

even the mouse.

Mum at the whorehouse

and dad smoking grass,

I'd just settled down

for a nice piece of ass.

When out on the lawn

I heard such a clatter,

I sprung from my piece

to see what's the matter.

Then out on the lawn

I saw a big dick,

I knew in a moment

it must be St. Nick.

He came down the chimney

like a bat out of hell,

I knew in a moment

the fucker had fell.

He filled all our stockings

with Pretzels and beer,

and a big rubber dick

for my brother the queer.

He rose up the chimney

with a thunderous fart,

the son of a bitch

blew the chimney apart.

He swore and he cursed

as he rode out of sight,

piss on you all

and have a hell of a night.....