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Films to avoid


Hughie Green

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Whilst Archangel rightly states there is no such thing as "the worst movie in the world" there are a few right stinkers out there

so I thought I would start a thread to try and help film fans avoid some honkers!

Keeping in mind one mans meat is another mans poison I will try and reserve judgment to those films which in my opinion are simply awful and/or utterly pointless

top of my list has to be Battlefield Earth which manages to be worse than the book (a feat in itself) and makes John Travolta look(more) like a right dickhead both for his desire to be involved in such a production and for the acting(sic) itself, only morbid fascination to see how bad it could get kept me going through this crap!

more recently I have watched a couple which were beyond redemption, firstly Magus, bloody awful! production values of a 3rd rate rock video and totally nothing going for it at all and secondly Doomsday 2012 which has to be the

most pointless load of dross I have seen in a long time!

Also Doomsday written and directed by Neil Marshall which appears to be an excercise in how many films can you rip off at the same time and still utterly fail to deliver a decent result with the mash up, I lost count of the number of direct references to other rather good movies it plagiarised from, Rhona Mitra and Malcom Mcdowell are possibly the best two in the whole debacle but even their presence could not save this pile of shite, with part of the plot being concerned with

the surviving natives of Scotland turning cannibal it falls apart as soon as the crack team crosses the border and has an RTA with a herd of around a thousand Cattle who remain remarkably unscoffed by the starving Scots who seem to prefer eating each other??? on the whole this movie reeks!.

well thats my non recomendations so far, if you are a masochist you may want to watch these movies otherwise do not bother with them unless you want to laugh at how bad they are which is about the only entertainment you could squeeze from them.

to paraphrase Groucho Marx "these are my opinions, if you dont like them I have others" :)

Fire away UK420 film fans, what stinkers have you watched recently?.

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Not so recent but i watched Eyes Wide Shut a few years ago and it was so bad i walked out. Even the titties could not keep me interested.

I wouldn't bother with hellboy 2 either.. snorefest.

Hancock.. it's not that it's bad.. it's just unoriginal and similarly boring.

Terminator 3 on its own wasn't a bad movie.. if you haven't seen the first two.. If you have, avoid.

Harold and Kumar 2 escape from guantanamo was dissapointing as it was supposed to be a comedy and it wasn't funny.. to me anyway.

But then.. i laugh at sick violence in gore movies.. :)

For a film most wont have watched but should, try and find a film called Immortal (ad vitam). It's the first film where the entire film was shot behind blue screen and the scenery added later.. stunning scenes, more original storyline than i've seen in a long time.. good movie

EDIT: I quite liked the "Cube" trilogy.. anyone remember them? filmed on a 3p budget in a 9x9 room.. The first was the best, the last was.. yah.. concept getting a bit old.. guess they come into the 'so bad it's good' category

Edited by CaptainStoner
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indiana jones 4

what a complete pile of poo

it was that bad, i fell asleep in the pictures.

imo, spielberg was just cashing in before before harrison fords pushing a zimmer :)

weak story, bad camera work, cliched to hell with no's 1,2 & 3 parts. total waste of time.

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Rambo 4, the worst one I have seen in a while but watchable because it falls in the 'so bad its good' category

No country for old men, whilst not a stinker, was a big dissapointment for me considering supposed to be an oscar winner didnt think it was up to much.

Cloverfield was also quite bad, but to be fair I saw it at home probably one of those films looks good in the cinema. When you watch it on the small screen the shite script stands out more

Edited by there_will_be_bud
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Aye, arai, Indie 4 so bad my brain must have deleted that to save my memory banks from meltdown :)

saw a clip of Rambo and decided against it wisely it seems, Jeez Captain that must have been bad if the nakedness

couldnt keep your interest :) glad I avoided that one too, will keep an eye out for Immortal tho.

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top of my list has to be Battlefield Earth which manages to be worse than the book (a feat in itself) and makes John Travolta look(more) like a right dickhead both for his desire to be involved in such a production and for the acting(sic) itself, only morbid fascination to see how bad it could get kept me going through this crap!

there was one good thing in the book - right at the start of the book they explain why aliens came to earth.. turns out that gold is the rarest and most valuable metal in the universe, and that earth has it in vast quantites. And we sent out voyager (?) with a map to our solar system etched onto, yep, gold.. telling aliens that gold must be common on earth, and where to come to find it.

and they took that out of the film.

other unrecommendations from me are:

Deep Impact. a film with no redeeming features, focusing on two fucking kids and a stupid woman trying to get back with her father. hideously sentimental, so much so that when a friend of mine wanted to watch it and wouldn't take my advice I forced him to watch the whole thing through even though he wanted to turn it off halfway for being so sickeningly gloopy so he could understand how much worse it got. At least armaggedon had (a) some humour and (B) Steve Buscemi.

I Robot. Given away free with the £40 dvd player I bought. says it all really.

AI (Artificial Intelligence). just read the short story (super toys that last all summer long ?) by heinlein iirc. or if you watch the film, turn it off when the robot boy leaves the house. Mark Kermode hates this film, I didn't listen to him when I went to see it, I liked the story so much and kubrick. never again, mark knows all.

Minority Report - just can't compare to the short story by pkd. plus I hate tom cruise.

there are more, I'm sure but these stick in my head. just noticed they are all sci-fi as well.. hmm..

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cloverfield was a waste of mooloah imo

just watched doomsday yesterday and i agree with the op :smug:

semi -pro was a movie i watched quite recently, i love will ferrell...the guy has me in stitches but i don't think i even managed a giggle in this movie :(

alien vs predator...both a lot of guff lol i watched the 2nd movie as i thought they've gotta make it better than the first let-down :P did they feck ;)

10,000 bc total shite...foolishly hoped it would be like apocalypto(sp?)..the mel gibson movie was class, 10k bc has been wiped from memory and only watched within the past month

... there's plenty more

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Revolver, a Luc Besson movie, written by Guy Ritchie with Jason Statham, Ray Liotta... Looks pretty nice; even the 10 minutes of the beggining are ok, but the rest of the movie is so full of crap. I've never seen anything so crapy. Almost a parody wich I'm confident it is not.

By the way, I can't understand somebody didn't like No Country For Old Men. In my opinion, it's a masterpiece, really killer movie with great acting.

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Yeah 10,000 BC is a waste of money. I quite liked I,Robot though.. AI was garbage.

I get my movies free, but even so can't help but be annoyed when i waste 2hr of my life on a shit film

The internet is such a wonderful resource :unsure:

EDIT: i saw an interview with stanley kubrick on tv a while back and couldn't help but thinking "what an absolute, complete, total and utter TWAT" He annoys me.

Edited by CaptainStoner
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IMO here's a few

Blair Witch - Come on, possibly the lousiest "scary" film ever.

Hard Rain - On paper should be a good film, but stinks to high heaven.

Deep Core - Just no....

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Far too many to list. Though I do think there is such a thing as the worst movie ever made, and I think Battlefield Earth wins the title.

Though the movie I've seen recently (well, in the last couple of years) that I've hated the most is one that a lot of people here like, and it's one I've ranted about before. V For Vendetta. Taken by itself, as a standalone movie it's probably not that bad. But taken as what it is, and adaptation of Alan Moore's masterful comic, it's truly fucking atrocious. The casting is dreadful, the acting is appalling, the script is lamentable and worst of all, the cardinal sin of any adaptation, they've changed the fucking plot and the ending so much that it transforms the meaning of the entire thing. Like I say, if you've no knowledge of the source material it's probably not that bad (but the acting is still dreadful and you can spot the miscasting even if you've never heard of the thing before), but as a fan of the original I think it's a fucking abortion of a movie.

But it's not remotely as bad as The League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen :smoke: No wonder Alan Moore wants absolutely nothing to do with any Hollywood adaptations of his work, they've ranged from the merely piss poor and misguided (From Hell) to the brain numbingly awful (League). I shudder to think what Watchmen is going to be like :ouch:

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Far too many to list. Though I do think there is such a thing as the worst movie ever made, and I think Battlefield Earth wins the title.

Though the movie I've seen recently (well, in the last couple of years) that I've hated the most is one that a lot of people here like, and it's one I've ranted about before. V For Vendetta. Taken by itself, as a standalone movie it's probably not that bad. But taken as what it is, and adaptation of Alan Moore's masterful comic, it's truly fucking atrocious. The casting is dreadful, the acting is appalling, the script is lamentable and worst of all, the cardinal sin of any adaptation, they've changed the fucking plot and the ending so much that it transforms the meaning of the entire thing. Like I say, if you've no knowledge of the source material it's probably not that bad (but the acting is still dreadful and you can spot the miscasting even if you've never heard of the thing before), but as a fan of the original I think it's a fucking abortion of a movie.

But it's not remotely as bad as The League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen :smoke: No wonder Alan Moore wants absolutely nothing to do with any Hollywood adaptations of his work, they've ranged from the merely piss poor and misguided (From Hell) to the brain numbingly awful (League). I shudder to think what Watchmen is going to be like :ouch:

I agree with you Boojum that V For Vendetta is an awfull adaptation of the comic. As a big fan of comics myself (mostly Marvel and Frank Miller), I'd say the only good adaptation of a comic I've seen was Sin City. 300 for example was for me just worthy because they've made Almost 300 out of it and that one I really liked a lot.

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