This is an account of my 'holiday from hell' in Amsterdam. A what not to do guide.

In my first term at uni there were adverts all around campus for a £39 coach trip to Amsterdam so I suggested the trip to my new found flat mates. They were pretty keen and in the end 5 of us went. When the day finaly came for us to go me, Mat, Dave, Kelly and Clare all went down to the underpass (big bus stop) and boarded the coach. The first inconvenience was having to travel all the way from Lancaster to Dover and via several other uni's to pick other people up. This is as opposed to just grabbing the ferry at the relatively close hollyhead (I think that’s the place that’s near us).

About halfway down the country the air con on the coach broke and left us all sweating our pants off for the rest of the way there/back in cramped conditions. When we reached nottingham the coach was pretty full and I found myself sitting directly behind 6 loud irritating dick heads and next to a while awake pretty cool hippy type/while asleep slobbering wreck. The rest of the journey was pretty crap. Bad crossing, long drive through france/Belgium very sweaty.

We finally arrived at the dam at 8 in the morning having not slept a wink all night and were drenched in sweat. We spent the morning looking around the shops and finally headed for our first coffee shop at around 2pm. After 1 rather embarrassing incident in a coffee shop that was just a coffee shop we finally found ourselves doing what, at that time I thought, we had all come to do. Smoke weed. We bought some weed (I can’t remember what type) and headed upstairs where I proceeded to roll joints and we all started to get stoned. Except that is for 1 of us. Who instead got pretty pissed off and announced he was going off on his own. I still to this day have no idea why he came with us but it evidently wasn't to smoke weed. This put the rest of us on a bit of a downer but we got stoned anyway and were surprisingly pleased to see Dave when he turned up about half an hour minutes later suitably subdued. (You have to remember we'd only known each other for a month or so).

We then headed for the sex museum where the girls found everything disgusting and I found everything hilarious. We then had an argument about where we'd eat. We finally decided on an Italian restaurant after a few death threats (no joke). I think the meal was pretty good.

It was then decided some culture was in order so we took a walk around the red light district, which was just starting to heat up at that point and then back to another coffee shop. I can't remember its name but it was infinitely better than the first place (it was sort of opposite the train station) where we got as stoned as I can ever remember being.

Mat and I then decided to go for a wonder. Unfortunately for me and my wallet, when we were walking down a canal on the edge of the red light district, I walked into a crack addict (read a crack addict walked into me) causing him to drop his crack pipe (spits his crack pipe onto the floor). He politely informed me that I wasn't going anywhere until he was suitably compensated (he pulled a knife on me and told me I wasn't going anywhere until I'd given him all my money) meanwhile mat was wondering aimlessly on completely oblivious to the fact I was being mugged. Well as I didn't fancy being run through I handed him my cash and then caught up with Mat. By the time we got back to the coffee shop I was pretty pissed off and a little shuck up by the incident. We spent a bit more time in the coffee shop then headed for McDonalds where we took refuge until 12 when the coach was picking us up for the crappy journey back.

The trip back was just as bad as that on the way there except I managed some sleep and was sitting with Kel. The bog did pack up to but I don't remember that affecting me.

The weekend wasn't quite as bad as it sounds, I did get really stoned after all and legally. I also unwittingly smuggled 5 or so grams of decent quality weed back with me as I'd forgotten to remove it from my person before heading back. God just imagine if HM customs had boarded the coach wouldn't that just have been the icing on the cake but as it was I had some nice weed to smoke for a few days. The worst thing about the whole thing wasn't the mugging or my m8 going psycho on us or even the actual coach journey but it was the lack of sleep when we'd had when we were in Amsterdam. We were all exhausted, irritable and not really in the mood to smoke weed. How we didn't all keel over and fall asleep on the floor in the first coffee shop I'll never know.

Hopefully I'm gonna go back this summer but this time I'm gonna fly (its only £70 odd quid with easy jet anyway I think), stay for longer, have a nice hotel to sleep in, and go with people I know will enjoy getting really stoned as none of the guys I went with before were really into smoking. Oh and avoid quiet, badly lit canals on the edge of the red light district.

Don't let any of that put you off I know lots of other people who had a great time.

Xants

Interesting fact I also got mugged in Tenerife the only time I've been abroad since Amsterdam.

yeah that rings a bell...

i was robbed in the street once, after first being befriended by this guy i was offered a smoke by his not so friendly mate. After a couple of joints of pretty crap gear i was 'asked ' to pay him money for it....him showing the knife convinced me to pay...

i was very naive at the time, and it did spoil the trip somewhat, but you have to just put it down to experience.

This sort of shit happens everywhere if you dont keep your wits about you

anyone else got a similar tale to tell ?

rs

Journeys to Amsterdam!!

I went to the Dam with my girlfriend for new year 2000 - 2001. We had to meet the coach at about 2am 30th dec. The coach was an hour late, it was -15 deg c and when we got onto the coach, the heating had broken!! We were freezing!!!

The journey wasnt too bad to Dover, except for the cold. Boat to Calais, fine, but at first they couldnt re start the coach. Then after being given a jump start by a ferry tractor thing, the coach made it into france before coming to a stop just as we got off the ramp. Spent the next 2 - 3 hours waiting for it to get fixed, and we finally arrived at our hotel at 9pm that night.

Straight into the Dam, a nice bag of Jack Herer, some 00, and back to the hotel.

Everything is fine the next day, did the coffee shops, museums etc, more coffee shops. Had some space cake from Bluebird, i loved it, but it was a jump too far for my girlfriend. She'd been a bit quiet so we stopped for a drink in a bar. She necked a bottle of something really quick and promptly threw a whitey!! She wobbled off to the toilet and i gave her 10 mins before i went and found her. Poor thing was holding on for dear life,so we made a beeline for McDonalds. Now she hates McDonalds as do i, but it was familiar. A couple of cups of tea, a Groenburger, and we were back on the case. I must admit, she dealt with her first whitey in sterling fashion!

On the coach trip on the way back everything was ok, except, they fixed the heater, in fact that fixed it too well and it melted my girlfriends trainers!!!

I didnt get mugged or approached by anyone. I think you have to stay alert when you are out and about in the dam. A time i went before i went with an American, I dont know how we didnt get mugged then. He thought we could go anywhere, which we did, and he used to shout at people if they werent American or English!!

Anyway, enough of a ramble, but i suppose the moral of the story is, cheap trips to Amsterdam are cheap, because they are cheap!!!

Chip

Sorry to hear bout them bad trips in the dam. I have to say i have never had any problems yet. As for coaches...i haven't even tried that......easy jet was about £42 ....yes thats return, the last two times i been, and the other times paid just a little over £100 with other airlines.
Just ignore all the street dealers, even if they are just selling cannabis (which most of em don't)
I think it was about 3 minutes after I got out the taxi before some skanky street dealer was offering coke. They really should sort that out. But other than that it's been shear bliss for me, like a little heaven on earth, i also tend to avoid the red light district, ain't that many coffeeshops down there anyway...greenhouse is just before the red light bit...so i can go there      i did once wander a little further to find a white widow polm they sell at Dread Rock.....was quite nice (the polm) but there are really some dodgey characters round them bits.
ohh here's a tip....anyone you want to ignore in the street....just pretend u don't speak english!!  

I fell I must step in here. I ran and organised two coach trips to amsterdam from swansea, when I was there as a student.
I charged 39 return or 65pound for two nights at the Bulldog. The first trip was fun, a bit short, we got there a bout 11pm friday night and left at sun about midday. But for the second trip, I learnt my lesson, we left at midnight thursday, got there lunch time friday, and left about 5pm on sunday. So basically 3 days in the Dam for £65, not too bad. The coaches were clean, with toilet, cd player, video player (and accompanying cheech and chong vids!!, the only problem was the coach was non-smoking. I believe everyone had fun, and the people on the coach did a whip round for me, for organising it. I felt quite bad cos Id made a coupla hundred quid off it!! But I think that shows everyone had fun and enjoyed themselves. I also believe most people managed to bring back a few 'presents' for themselves!!
I just wanted to put in a good story about coach trips, after all the bad ones above!!
These cheap flights can be, at awkward times and awkward airports, you have to add on the cost of getting two and from the airports if you dont drive.

Ive been to amsterdam 8/9 times, and only had one dodgy experience, just about to get in a taxi, and realised that there were already 2/3 shady looking people in there, and it wasnt in fact a taxi. Just walked off. I think KC33 is right, if people are on the street offering you stuff just ignore them, there not going to harass you, theres 10/20 potential customers all around you, you dont matter that much!!
NEVER buy hash on the street, (400 coffeeshops renders this quite silly really). And if youre in the centre, avoid all those inviting lookin dark alleys!!!!  

Sorry to hear your story – but what lessons learnt!

1) You pay for what you get, unless you are ripped-off, the ticket was only £39 (in year 2002)– frankly you’re lucky to have got there!

2) Don’t go on a smoking weekend with a moron, i.e. someone that doesn’t intend to join in!

3) Always be prepared for being mugged in big cities (or indeed Glastonbury) – carry minimum money in pockets/wallets – all the rest down your socks/pants etc. – and offer everything you have (to hand) straight away! – Worked for me in Brixton 20-odd years ago, hadn’t scored on route to a gig – so had £500 odd on me (down the pants), mugged: cost me under a fiver!

- good to hear another trip is planned – flying is better, esp with all these cheap airlines nowadays!

PS: Holyhead, I caught the ferry from there to Ireland & back more times than I like to remember (too many shitty Irish sea crossings), before Virgin started cheap flights – but I wouldn’t recommend travelling to Holland from there, bloody sure that would take a lot longer than a crappy cross-country coach!

lol - loved your story - your mate dave certainly chilled out after getting rid of his sexual tension on a hooker!

nearly got mugged in 97 by some git who got onto us trying to buy e's of a black guy but i tanned his jaw and he went straight down

go by easyjet - book online two months in advance cost 22.50

you must go though on a monday or friday and come back the same got to their website and experiment

hard luck on all the people who were releived of their hard earnt..i.ve been twice and used the same cafe both times.i sailed on the overnight ferry from hull.before the p+o group took over north sea ferries the self survice buffet was included in the price as was a basic cabin,you can upgrade for a small fee.still we got stoned and had a goood nights kip both directions.we arrived in amsterdam at about 11 in the morning.
both times i fetched back some nice afghani hash
that cost me the equivilent of around £32 for 15g..excellent blow..never got hassled in the street once during my walk about..the only thing that disturbed me on my visit was the public display of pornography,i know a lot of shit for brains go over specificly to indulge themselves in pursuit of that moronic material but it should not be on display on the public thoroughfares.i was'ent bothered by the shop window brothels and neither am i a prude but parties of small school kids were wandering past them porn shops...
spliffdaddy    

Second that spliffdaddy, it is a bit much when there are kids around.....  

Going to agree with you spliffdaddy, Ferries are the way to to go.  Ive sailed from Hull several times aswell and much prefer being able to get up and walk around, have a toke on deck and fall asleep lying down.

First time I went via boat we thought we'd play it safe and try and cane our purchases prior to boarding for the return journey.  We were a right mess - I lost count of how many tubes of pringles we got though.  

Having said that, my parents went over to the Dam on a long weekender by coach, (organised by one of those respectable company things) reported having a really good time.  Especially as they ended up sharing a back-seat-smoke on the way back with a couple of old biddies.

You can just see these two doddery ladies stepping off the bus in their tea cosy hats holding beige handbags stuffed full of prime weed LOL

We never had a problem in the 'dam apart from some random bloke wandering up to us in a fast food place and helping himself to a couple of chicken nuggets before staggering off whilst we all sat there slack-jawed (WTF?), but Ive vowed next time I go over there to try visiting some of the other towns such as Rotterdam, Utrect and Gronigen.  All supposed to be quite good for friendly cafés.


dl

Amsterdam is a beautiful city...but it is still a city. Anyone who is thinking of going to the dam should know that if you are sensible then you are safe.....

When I was there with 2 other lads we stayed on the streets pretty much 24/7 no trouble. We didn't make eye contact with any of the guys who kept whispering "Charlie" in our ears as we walked past or any of the women asking "Wanna f&ck"? We were there for the ganja and not alot else so never had probs..

AMSTERDAM RULES!

QUOTE (spliffdaddy @ Jun 13 2002, 12:47 AM)

hard luck on all the people who were releived of their hard earnt..i.ve been twice and used the same cafe both times.i sailed on the overnight ferry from hull.before the p+o group took over north sea ferries the self survice buffet was included in the price as was a basic cabin,you can upgrade for a small fee.still we got stoned and had a goood nights kip both directions.we arrived in amsterdam at about 11 in the morning. both times i fetched back some nice afghani hash that cost me the equivilent of around £32 for 15g..excellent blow..never got hassled in the street once during my walk about..the only thing that disturbed me on my visit was the public display of pornography,i know a lot of shit for brains go over specificly to indulge themselves in pursuit of that moronic material but it should not be on display on the public thoroughfares.i was'ent bothered by the shop window brothels and neither am i a prude but parties of small school kids were wandering past them porn shops... spliffdaddy   :mad:  :oldtoker:

Well said spliffdaddy,

Went to Amsterdam for a dirty weekend with my missus about 10 years ago.
Some bird and her boyfriend bumped into us while walking back to our hotel, never noticed till we got back to the hotel and went to bed, The bitch had my new £200 watch off my wrist while I was checking out her extremely wonderfull clevage, and smiling as we held each other while manouvering past.

ALWAYS BE ALERT, well as best as you can in Amsterdam, have a gereat time to all those who venture, leave the bus at the airport best wishes to all SJ

High there,

'some interesting tales there people

"we were walking down a canal on the edge of the red light district, I walked into a crack addict (read a crack addict walked into me) causing him to drop his crack pipe"

----> I'm not a violent person, but I have Thai/kick-boxed for a while and know how to move, so this f*ckin crack head would have been in the canal.

'Don't let these crackheads walk all over you man - do what the other guy who posted did "tan 'em in the jaw", etc.

Yeah, he had a knife, but if you'd been aware enough of yourself, you would have floored him/canal'd him before he had the chance.


I come from quite a rough city, worse I'd say than Amsterdam, and there's no-where in A'dam I'd be afraid to go..... I've wandered around alone there in the dead of night plenty of times, had a few f*ckers looking at me, but nothing else, apart from the usual drugdealing, prostitution and beggers, but they all exist where I'm from, so same story.


I'm now living in a much less dangerous place, and seem to have 'dropped my guard' a fair bit, but when visiting large cities/capitals, you've got to have your 'guard up', mentally.

If you look like a victim, you will become one.


Here's a story - I was in the Red light district of A'dam, with a mate, and see a large group of very shady-looking black guys ahead, blocking the canal path.

Instead of turning around, or going down a side-alley, I confidently walked towards them, telling my mate to be cool.

The 'leader' of this coke-gang, incidently the largest as well, has already seen me coming a while ago, and has also seen that I am un-phazed by them.

He announced "HEY BIG MAN, YOU WANNA' BUY SOME CHARLIE?".....to which I calmly and confidently walk through them and said "Nah man" as I continued to walk forwards, not giving the rest eye contact, just the leader a slight glance...... he stepped aside and gestured for his mates to do the same.


Now I'm not a large person, but it's all in the attitude and strength of mind.


People harassing you are like dogs - they can smell fear.


I almost went to Jamaica last year, with a Jamaican mate, not to stay in one of these 'locked-away' hotel complexes, but to live among the people, and chill with the real heads/rastas.


I asked my mate what it would be like for me being white and walking through some very dodgy villages, where it's easy to go 'missing' - he replied "walk tall, hold your head up and be confident.....if they sense fear, they'll play on it" - true say (! )

I didn't get to go in the end, but the point I'm making is that a lot of the problem is to do with confidence/attitude.

I often psyche myself up when I'm in a dodgy situation, get the adrenaline pumping, but appear outwardly calm and confident.


The last time I went to A'dam, I was with my brother, who is a body builder, so wasn't approached AT ALL by any shady types, apart from the odd "want some charlie?" line.


Be aware, take care and above all ENJOY YOUR TRIP! Don't let these b*stards get you down!


All the best

Trichome

Hi all

"If you look like a victim, you will become one."

A wise statement trichome,
A confident demeanour goes a long way in life.
Been to Dam a couple of times in the past the first time on my own, a little
freaked but in reality nothing to worry about, a visit to a laided back coffee shop (Blues Brothers is it still there?) soon sorted out any
anxieties i may of had.

Pushy coke dealers are part and parcel of a trip round the red light area,
But thats only a small part of the city and theres some nice cafes to be found in less touristy areas.

fester x

Totally agree with Trichome.
These boys selling charlie and brown are only after a sale and if you give them the cold eye and walk on they wil leave you alone.
Never had one single problem during the numerous trips to Adam including several stag weekends and the inevitable 2am stroll around the red light district trying to find your mates.

There is one particular alleyway in the red light district which must be about 2 foot wide with all the sleezy windows all the way along. It is populated by all the scum in the city. The last time I went was with 14 lads on a stag weekend and noone said a word to us.
However, even the toughest amongst us where not keen on that place.

I was in no state to react quickly and deffend myself and the choice of handing over my readies and the possibility of being run through ain't no choice at all in my opinion. I am quite a big bloke and generaly pretty confident the guy who was with me is a very big bloke and pretty 'ard to boot but unfortunately he didn't even notice my predicament.

I'm not planning on getting mugged again however as the second time (well 4th if you count 2 bikes nabbed by pikies in not unthreatening circumstances wehn i was about 13/14) really made my blood boil and I kinda swore it would never happen again. I'm fairly sure I don't look like a victim tho every1 that I've told the story to has been amazed he picked on me as I just don't look like an easy target.

Xantrix

QUOTE (scotweed @ Jul 11 2002, 08:34 PM)

There is one particular alleyway in the red light district which must be about 2 foot wide with all the sleezy windows all the way along. It is populated by all the scum in the city.

I think I know the one does it end in a dead end so you have to walk all the way back again?

I've never had any problems there.
Me and my mate once took a (we thought) shortcut down a back alley, turned a corner, and walked straight into a Turkish looking guy and one of those African guys with the leather caps on, passing notes and a big black bag of something across.
I must admit, I thought we were gonna get shot or something, but they just stepped back and said "Hello", and we replied "Areet," and walked on by. No problems.

Also, the first time I went, (again with the mate above) the first thing we did, rather than getting accomodation, was hit the nearest coffee shop.
We thought we were hard core tokers, because we could smoke an eigth of soap between us in a night. (memories again lol). We bought some Cytral I think it was, had a couple of J's in the coffee shop, then decided to find somewhere to sleep. Went out of the door, into the cold October air, and it hit us. Bang. Mashed as f@ck. We'd never smoked "proper" weed before.
For the next three hours, walking around trying to find accomodation on a Saturday afternoon, we were convinced everyone but EVERYONE was trying to rip us off. We finally found a B+B, went to our rooms, and found that the window wouldn't shut. directly outside our room was a dark alley.
We slept that night with glass ashtrays under our pillows, convinced that we were gonna get burgled. We hid money in the false ceiling and all sorts of wierd places. As it was, nothing happened, and it was a very pleasent trip.
My lessons learned are:

Arrange accomodation before you go,
And relax. As someone else said, if you look like a victim, you will be.

Last time i was in the dam was 84, didn't get mugged or hassled (except the usual charlie line, no pun intended lol ) largly agree with tricome, these sleazy twats want easy money/deals if you match them they tend to give way, they don't like to cause a 'scene'and draw to much attention so to speak..
I was sitting outside the bulldog on a bright sunny afternoon with me mate stu, being very stoned i was getting slightly paranoid with the mime artist who had been staring at me for about 5mins with his face only inches away
from mine, (why do they all seem to do this!) when suddenly to the left of us there was a loud bang, some poor bloke had hit one of those f@cking great big bollards (spelling) riding his moped ouch! we helped pick up bits and pieces of his bike lol, anyway 2-3 hours later still sitting in the same square (and seats lol), we were watching a highwire street act, this guy was spinning upside down from a rope by only one ankle, i was pondering on how dodgy it looked when the guy started to wave his arms around erratically and seemed to be trying to grab his ankle, he didn't make it and fell twenty feet straight onto his head,
you could hear the impact, the poor geezer had dashed his brains on the cobbles and died! cast a shadow over the whole trip, what a shitty few hours! anyway the warning is 'don't sit outside the bulldog, to much shit happens' lol
oh yeah, also got a gun in the face at one of the galleries, got a little to close to a picaso and a paranoid cop showed what he thought of me by sticking a rather large hand gun in my face....woops!
must go back soon...
cheers
ufo

Let me know when you're off to the 'dam, and I'll steer well clear!!!

Ahhhhhh The 'Dam. What a shithole, spot the Dutch person.
Fair enough there are some very good places in the dam, willie's for example but the bad far outweighs the good.

I lived in The Hague for two years back in the eighties and all my Dutch friends told me the same thing, Amsterdams for tourists. The Hague has all the characteristics that people want from the Dam such as hookers and hooch but no where near the levels of intimidation.

Spent a lot of time in Haarlem and Rotterdam and Groningen as well and they are all far better.

It's as easy getting to The Hague as it is to Amsterdam so don't put up with intimidation from fucked up people in Amsterdam, get around a bit.

QUOTE

It's as easy getting to The Hague as it is to Amsterdam so don't put up with intimidation from fucked up people in Amsterdam, get around a bit

Cheers for that JC - I'm heading that way soon, I'll take your advice..

Thing is, it's easy enough to get to the 'dam anyway from Haarlem or Rotterdam so if there's any grief from mates (hah! i doubt...) then a quick train ride will fix it..

I was chatting to a friend the other day, who happens to be a long time grower (I've just found out!), and he said that Rotterdam is well worth a visit. I'll have to put that on my list of places to go to...cheers

AMSTERDAM is the dog's b----x.I've been a few times on stag weekends with lads.But the best time was when me & the missus got married & went on honeymoon to AMSTERDAM maaan wot a craigh!but that's for another time,if anyone would like to continue?MT

Rotterdam......hmmmm give us a shout cytral and i'll tag along! lol

ufo

Amsterdam a shithole?

Well the area around central station is certainly VERY touristy - , also if you are still wandering the red light @ 4am this too has a certain 'edge' (apparently .... <ahem>). Still if my last visit is anything to go but amsterdam is getting safer (and cleaner) - didnt encounter quite the same amount of dodgy 'street cats' this time.

On the whole though my various experiences (for what they are worth) had suggested (to me at least) that dam is one the whole a friendly non-threatening place - even cultural and cutting edge (once you get outside the centre) - like any capital though it has it fair share of shit.



Ok, so I've not visited anywhere else in holland (yet!), maybe other cities have all the pro's of the dam without the negs, but I dobt it. The tourist side of the dame does mean you get to meet other like minded travellers (i.e. hot american chicks and stoned canadians).

Is this as easy in rotterdam or the hague?

The language thing worries me outside amsterdam, i mean in the dam english + polite + be yourself is ok virtually anywhere - but elsewhere .... .....

Still perhaps the hookers are better outside the dam .

Peace and love kids.

Amsterdam a shithole?

Well the area around central station is certainly VERY touristy - , also if you are still wandering the red light @ 4am this too has a certain 'edge' (apparently .... <ahem>). Still if my last visit is anything to go but amsterdam is getting safer (and cleaner) - didnt encounter quite the same amount of dodgy 'street cats' this time.

On the whole though my various experiences (for what they are worth) had suggested (to me at least) that dam is one the whole a friendly non-threatening place - even cultural and cutting edge (once you get outside the centre) - like any capital though it has it fair share of shit.



Ok, so I've not visited anywhere else in holland (yet!), maybe other cities have all the pro's of the dam without the negs, but I dobt it. The tourist side of the dame does mean you get to meet other like minded travellers (i.e. hot american chicks and stoned canadians).

Is this as easy in rotterdam or the hague?

The language thing worries me outside amsterdam, i mean in the dam english + polite + be yourself is ok virtually anywhere - but elsewhere .... .....

Still perhaps the hookers are better outside the dam .

Peace and love kids.