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Amsterdam Coffee Shops Oct '18

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Anyone remember these



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i remember guilders in the grey area... and when volcanoes started popping up... met a fellow uk420 member in the dam a decade or so ago, though hes not here anymore... had the most fantastic warlock man could hope to smoke did he...


was there over night in September, stayed in the bluebird, there was a coffeeshop right next to it, not worth mentioning other than you could sit outside in a alley and smoke. just down the road was coffeeshop family affair or something - very friendly staff and atmosphere, unremarkable weed, cant remember what i got...


visited a few other shops - bojangeries or something, like an apothecary, swanky get it and go store, but too pressed and rushed and service was a bit arsey. fine menu, but, meh...


best experience was in NooN, there blueberry was mildly trippy - wonderful smoke, very chill and local atmosphere - far away from the belly of the beast.


and i remembered how much i fuckin LOVE the 'dam. love it.where else can you get a bong hit, a blow job and a big mac all on the same street? its so gloriously lowest common denominator.


and  no where else in the world is more on the move than amsterdam IME... built for bikes and people and cars and trams, but none in particular, all must share the woefully undersized street spaces, and its peppered with totally minced people... Go!


so im heading back there tomorrow and meeting up with my 18 year old cousin who is an A'dam virgin for two nights of cherry poppin fun. i have at least 10 coffeeshops mapped out to visit - ill try and report back how well we do...


dunno if we can spend as much as you did @tom68 but we'll try and get equally as intoxicated! sounds like you had a great time, and glad to hear you returned safely with all yer unbeknownst wares ;) 


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so, there was me, 40, eccentric, odd looking, talk to anyone anywhere and my smoking companion who we'll call I.D, (as he does not yet look his 18 years and was instantly asked for proof of age in every establishment we entered) loose in Amsterdam for 40 hours.


i had detailed plans for our arrival and activity itinerary, routes to coincide with opening times etc, but a cancelled train from the airport led to us starting off at central station and fingered all plans. we spent a good hour fannying about trying to find a place to smoke. once we did we agreed our mission was to hit as many different coffeeshops on my list as we could, remaining open for random occurrences. we would try and limit ourselves to one purchase of one gram each per stop so as to taste the variety rainbow whilst attempting to go easy on the purse.


it was also here we came up with our idea of a "sour dough" where our ground but unused bud was collectively pooled in a bag, and this bag was used to construct between venue joints, or "ones for the walk", then added to with each additional purchase. wizards!


i had decided no bull dog, bojangeries, green house or barneys - im prejudice for reasons i don't understand, but that was a constraint. and so it went like this




17:30 - De Kroon - nice place, pleasant set up and menu was alright, but it was our first stop so we were somewhat rose tinted. I.D made the classic rookie mistake of being so eager to smoke he obeyed the no baccy rule and skinned up with some of that fancy herbal tea they have laying around collecting dust on the tables. the sound english budtender filled us in on the official "keep it out of sight" policy regarding tobacco in coffeshops throughout the dam. we never took note of price in the first place but tried to whenever we could formulate the memory...


ID - Sour Diesel - "good" was the judgement. it was like diesel should be to me. 

me - Super Silver Haze - always the first thing i get in the dam, looking for that famous high. it wasn't here. unremarkable bud. next.


19:55 - Noon - i really like the set up and lay out in noon. its not trying too hard, if at all! we were the only non locals but welcomed with lo-fi warmth.


ID - Thin Mint Cookies - 14 euro - full of seeds! not even mature ones. tasted like weed, not a mint anything insight. disappointing.

me - Blueberry - 9 euro - heady, not as tasty as last time, had a mildly synthetic after taste. goes to show how hit and miss it can be. not unpleasant though.


20:40 - Katsu - pokey but lovely design, okay music, high turn over. menu was.. okay? hard to recall. 


ID - Black Widow Haze - 10 euro - "good" said he. i couldnt taste anything but was very up when we left, especially after...

me - Bubble Cheese - 10 euro - ID said it was "potent". i wrote "flavourish" and was very happy after wards.


10:30 - superskunk - fuck this place. what a dive. bleak. i wrote "horrid". ID says "imagine walking in to a butchers..."


ID - caramelo superskunk hash - 10 euro - he was pretty blasted after this. it had a hit - but also a plastic taste.

me - bubblegum - 10 euro - This did not taste of bubblegum. this did not taste of anything. poor.


23:20 - The Rookies - FINALLY! the rookies ticked all the boxes for me. they were the first place to even mention organic, and their entire menu was so! not a huge variety, upper price range, but quality. the place had a simple relaxing design, a very friendly vibe and the music was some of the best we heard of the trip. in many places the music is just on. here it was Played!


ID - Raspberry Kush - 16 euros - very very tasty. not super fruity but super fresh, easy to inhale, very feel good. had to air drum! the music really was amazing...

me - Champagne Haze - 13'50 euros - recommended by the tender. mad tasty smoke, "fucking delicious" read the notes. creamy lip smack taste, pretty up and outy head, though by this point it was hard to judge. we were pretty cained...




10:15 - The Rookies - so good we went back for breakfast. music was still fucking magic! al green, nina simone, fela kuti, eteopian jazz - sparsely populated, very chill. good coffee with very attractive tea spoon that now lives in my drawer.


me - New York Diesel - 15 euros - the notes are also "fucking delicious" - this was super uppy, i got very chatty then on a mad rant. it was excellent! ID was still rockin his raspberry kush.


11:35 - 1e hulp - nice lay out for one of those places where you get buzzed through to the smoking area. friendly english bud tender, nice eastern design in the back, chilled ambient house.


ID - soma haze - 10 euro - this was judged "daycent" with that spelling on purpose. i thought it was a tasty smoke, spicy.

me - purple haze - 7 euro - this was outdoor grown and the tender said he wouldnt smoke it. it smelled similar to some legendary bud i got around 2002 from the stroud area, killer creeper stone, i called it poison. i bought it anyway as i am also an outdoor grower and as keen to try some other OG weed.  ID reckoned it tasted of BBQ, i didnt taste anything, and though there was a creeping stone it was not the sledgehammer zonk of that mythical weed from yesteryear... 


13:25 - Tweede Kamer - yes to this place. tiny, cosy, non industrial, wicked music, superb menu, great variety, friendly tenders.


ID - Orange Hill - 12 euros - mellow was the word from the man. i thought it was good weed, chilled. 

me - Chocoloney - 11 euros - alright! i was pretty up high after, no discernible choco taste though...

also got 10 euro banana block which was delicious, creamy as advertised, no plastic taste, very rich smoke. close to being monged from this. 


14:50 - De Dampkring - felt more like going into a tourist attraction than a coffee shop. high turn over of clearly tourists and young out of town dutch. classic rock music.


ID & me - Pif Haze - 15 euro - hazy! very up, agree with the advertised energetic head high. ID said "if the plants are real..." then kind of looned out...


18:30 - Yo-Yo - very cosy place, almost empty when we arrived, had it to ourselves for the last hour. older lady was a bit "cant be fucked" but she was nearly done with work. fair play. best outdoor selection of weed we saw. super chill place.


ID - Frisian Dew out door - 5 euro - smelled pretty green, opened up a bit when ground. ID called it an eye weightener. i thought it was okay...

me - jack herrer out door - 5 euro 0.7g - tasty, same again with opening up when ground, really smooth smoke, spaced out quite a bit after.

also got Apple Haze 10 euro for 0.7g, and this was one of the tastiest smokes of the journey. smelled like apple! tasted like apple! i said "wowee" several times!

ID was not a huge fan of the taste, reckoned it was perfumey. it had a candy apple after taste and had an amplifacatory effect on my already intoxicated carcass. rated!


20:30 (?) - Warda - what a surprise! we were on our way somewhere else and lostsly stumbled over this place. another one where you have to get buzzed in to smoking lounge, the kiosk area was a smidgen gangster, big menu though. once we got buzzed through there was an inbetween room for skinning up, not smoking, then there was the smoke room, which was just us! for like 2 hours! small place with one long couch against one of the walls, a big tv screen playing ladys football, a wee side room with P.C.s and net connection! dated net cafe! sweet! great techno mix playing, loads of board games and a very bouncy couch for sudden dancing. this was a great stop on the trip.


ID - AMG (something Mac Ganja) 12 euro - tasty as fuck and very uppy! we both really rated this weed as being tasty and stimulating potent. also got fed a space cake here.

me - Cheese - 12'50 euro - musky and cheesish, heavy stone, relaxing, we got ball deep in chess for an hour. splendid.


10:50 - papillion - it took us a few days after to piece this visit back together. it was an unusual set up, kiosk then buzzed in to a long glass walled smoke area. think it was alright...


ID & me - Amnesia - 11 euros - notes are barely legible, says "pretty fucking wasted"...


it was perhaps folly to try and individually asses each and every weed seeing as we were accumulating an ever increasingly distorted perceptive frame, but it was craic, so...


we wet back to noon the next morning to finish the sour dough and remaining bits, also tried a gram or strawberry banana something or other that was tasty if not fruity -  and stocked up on space cakes for pre-boarding. it was super chill with just locals and us and one the owners, johnny, was the dude who had the mellow yellow when they closed it. he had some interesting things to say about the industry...


ive not done the math but we spent a shit load on average per hour. 11 different shops tried and out of all The Rookies and Tweede Kamer would be the places i would go back to, and want to go back to and can not recommend strongly enough. 


all in all i was left with the feeling of not finding something. the smokes were variable, some were lovely, some were bland, but i never found the "HOLY FUCKING SHIT THIS IS IT" smoke. maybe next time. maybe never.


thats about it. travel safe and watch out for the bikes...




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