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Gorillas in the West.

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That is a quality job BB , they look freakin awesomsauce! I've been in the basement for a while but those plants are worth the effort alone , top job mate 



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hey 420,

Here we are again then a little overdue and I am also the holder of good news and bad.

Good News is - After nearly 18mths of waiting I finally have a date to replace my old stairlift that works but is worn out.

Bad News is - The old ones being removed next Tuesday and the walls,stairs and floor are being prepared for the new one to be fitted on the Thursday.

That means I have to crop this grow over the weekend so it's cleared away ready for the works to commence.Im a bit pissed as they still have time to go maybe another 2 weeks but at pretty much 10 weeks of flower it could be way,way worse.

It's only Gorilla Haze left now and thankfully they've been fattening up or it'd be a total shame to chop them as I think they could do alot in two weeks.

They've been on H2O with a touch of Alga Grow and Alga Bloom  (@1ml per ltre) until yesterday when I replaced it with H20 

only now so they've had a small flush but can't be helped.


I always knew the Stairlift would be done with short warning and had been planning to break down whatever grow I was on and put it back but for another 7-10 days it seemed a bit of a waste after disturbing them so much.

It has been somewhat of a trying grow for many reasons not least of which was my foolhardy attempt at growing giant outdoor plants without any LST to fight the height but if us growers don't have any problems we don't learn how to deal with them when they do turn up,so meh.

So without any further gumpf here are this weeks photos -




Here's a little snippet of the popcorn it's looking mighty thrich'd - 




So as it works out this may well be the last grow update I do with the Haze's but I really hope to get another run of them as they have a meaty,matchsticks in your eyelids,mind blowing,confusing but hilarious hit that's been good for the pain in both Legs I have from a serious Industrial accident but I've discovered its real strength for me is the absolute wonders it does with the shit I get from my Sarcoidosis,in my stupidly random and rare case causes Lymph Nodes around my Heart and Lungs to swell so large they restrict Blood flow in a few areas giving pain and trouble breathing,it's also caused small Ulcers around my Brain with a few areas down my Spinal column alongside a body rash that looks like the pattern of a Giraffes skin that comes up when it's a real bad spell.

Anyhow I've had strains that help in alot of ways but @panik's Gorilla Haze is the only one to help that area specifically as it's an incredibly complex thing to treat with NHS drugs.


Im obviously not going to stop them fully but if the Haze boosts the effectiveness a bit then im able able to cut down a little on them for how ever long I have Haze it in my jars at least.

I've enjoyed this grow alot as it's been fucking nuts at times but I've learnt alot about the plants and my madcap set up which gives consistent results and appears to create very solid,really resinous and well perfumed buds to boot.


I'm expecting my next update to be a tear down with a few bud shots and I'll add a smoke report once I can no longer resist temptation.

Have a great weekend people you all rock.

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Tonight I am happy to confirm that at least 1 of my Gorilla Haze has a hit that gives you the 3 second memory of a Goldfish so you get 3-4 lines into conversation and it just disappears out of your mind so far you won't remember what happened let alone what you said,its so fucked up and I don't use that full word much here,you have an hour of trying to talk then 3hrs of pure zombie ..... mental.


Only on big popcorn so far.

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@panik hope your well chap.


Just to say a full smoke report is imminent mate,it's typed and is a monster but didn't want to cut corners and had to layout my health issues to show the amazing effects it had on me in many ways I hadn't even considered.


It'll be in by the weekend chap,sorry for the delay.

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hey 420,

The time has come to try and explain the journey I've been on with my Gorilla Haze grow.

Firstly,I have to say that this beautiful plant grows like a demon and if at all possible get it outdoors where it'll become a dinosaur of a plant with dino dick sized buds.


Grow it indoors and you need to get it under control ASAP or you'll be bending like a Yoga freak.Other than that its an easy grow.



At crop time I did my usual but irregular processing that is simply cut it with enough stem length to hang,then tie it into a long chain of buds that hangs all round my lights about a foot away as the lights are busy vegging the next flowering group,Im guessing your all thinking "nooooooooooo not like that" whilst thinking im mad but read on chaps.

It hangs there until its exactly 98% lol dry and crisp to the touch apart from a v'tiny bit of give in the stem which takes a couple of days usually.


I then rough trim and jar but I leave any leaf with crystals still on it so I waste nothing.



It's the week or two spent drying I've tried to work on as it takes up so much space,stinks like heaven to me but like shit to some so can do it aroma free in the tent.The risk of mould is greatly reduced by quick drying so I get it dried asap and work on it from there.

Curing can't happen without enough moisture,so effectively it's curing at nothing like a normal rate but because you've saved 10 days of drying you have extra time with it dry and safely tucked away.

Curing is then controlled by burping for an hour twice a day and from that point it starts to slowly pull moisture ambiently back in and starts to cure,you'll see it process and change as you normally would it just takes a little longer to achieve.If i think its gone to far or that I might want to use it asap I hang a v'small cube (10mm x 10mm) of raw Potato that's been wrapped in kitchen roll for a few mins to make sure there's no dripping once attached under the lid,I try to always use genuine Jersey Royals as the warmer climate there encourages a sweeter flavour plus we're fuckin' minted lol nah ha! only messing any spud will do.It quickly raises the humidity just enough to give the bud the right give and help it smoke nicely.



If I can,Ill leave it to do its thing but if I need early smoke it's ready and dry so can be smoked at will and always tastes fresh,don't you just love that fresh hit of flavour from a small crispy dried,new crumbly bud that you know is going taste so much better in a few weeks.

The Gorilla Haze dried nicely and it got 3 weeks untouched other than tasters,after that I was head first in the jars sniffing the rich,creamy Haze filled stank that came exploding out the jars every time you flip the lid,usually followed by me offering it up to the wife in a "look what I gave birth to!" first baby every time I open a new one lol.


I always flash dry popcorn with even less fuss and chuck it in the "in case of emergency" jar that has saved my life many times.I spear it all on to bamboo kebab sticks and clip them near the LED exhaust.Its smoke dry in 24hrs usually and as above it gives you a little tease of what's to come.



This is the smoke part of the report and to be clear I only smoke neat joints in organic papers.It works,it's simple and above all it's as non tech a way to take it as there can be,one bud,one man,one paper,a roll and a spark to enjoy the same pleasures our ancestors did for thousands of years,plus I get to drag the wife up my stairlift instead of into my cave lol

From day one the flash dry Haze was real nice to roll and smoked with billowing plumes that gave a twist of burnt Toffee and Pepper lightened with a sweet  roasted fresh Tomato twang and through the Nose a little Chilli zest.

The hit was always a mind blender and bender you couldn't fight your way out of,the first night we tucked into a proper flower I got through one smoke whilst reading and felt a real deep relaxing wave,then a tingling sensation in my Spine that grew and became more intense,widespread and then the backs of my Eyes knew something was coming but couldnt tell me and then.... ...BOOM it slaps you upside your Brain like being Tango'd by Mike Tyson on Crystal Meth.



That slap introduced me to the joys of having a Goldfish memory,I'm not joking when I say you can only manage a 30 second conversation or 3 mid length sentences before the topic you were discussing evaporates into thin air like the Genie from Rentaghost,Its like being on a vocal rollercoaster of remembering something,forgetting,remembering over and over.


After an hour it began to level out and made you feel like your minds being massaged by Angelina Jolie before she lost to much weight and stopped dressing like Lara Croft as her delicate but strong hands guide you in to a deep Haze zombie ccccchhhhhiiiiiiillllllll mmmmmmmmmmmmmLara Croft.


Shortly after I hit the zombie zone I began to have some mental clarity and ideas just flow out as I was sat working on a new grow set up that you'll see used in anger shortly.It takes a few principles from pretty much every growing technique you can think of and mashes it into one set up I've not seen before (I think).

As it began to lighten in colour and cure,the Goldfish effect it gave settled into a more subtle "wtf was I talking about" rather than "am i actually capable of talking.........wtf was I talking about?" but the space zombie effect increased. There were two types of hit across the plants,both gave the goldfish effect but one gave you the best sense of humour you've ever had and the other had you drifting through deep space solving some of life's greatest problems.


One thing I rarely see described are the auditory effects a strain gives and being a man that was born and raised in music its important to me.


Gorilla Haze worked well in that department and music I've listened for 45 years held hidden surprises,pulling deeply layered vocals out from harmonies and helping my mind to build a soundscape that then mainlines directly into your auditory receptors bringing you the much fabled "ear-gasm" that triggers every time something sounds just way to beautiful.


Watching TV after smoking the Gorilla drops you deep into whatever your watching,you and your TV sync in a spiritual way that puts you right in the action whilst the rest of the world has left you to enjoy your new world.



Flavour now and it's had a month or two curing,when I open the jar my eldest can smell it instantly its that pungent and it became a very tasty and complicated smoke,my wife says she gets a roast peach aroma with herbal over tones and a crack of black pepper to finish,for me though it's a creamy smooth BBQ'd Werthers Original (who knew!) with a splash of Habanero and dried BlackBerry.

In the grinder it breaks down perfectly even though it sticks to your fingers like a Limpet when you break it up initially.Once ground I tip it out and it's so sticky it stays in the grinder shape waiting for me to dig in.

I have to do a section on its broad and strong medical effects as they have been outstanding and deserve some attention.


To get a sense of Gorillas strengths I need to list my weaknesses,so heres what's wrong with me,so far....take a breath....


2 Badly crushed ankles and 1 crushed knee.Nine operations but am inoperable now.I have no Cartilage in either Ankle and the body/surface of the Talus in both is so trashed that 8/10 times I attempt to stand it's like standing on an a tazer as someone hits you with an electrified lump hammer that drops you like a stone in the kind of pain you don't want to imagine,I regularly get small/medium fractures and have had several bits of bone removed over the years.They didn't fuse my Ankles as they thought I was to young but now the Bones are so weak they cannot be screwed together so I'm screwed now.



No ones sure why but I developed Systemic Sarcoidosis that has damaged my Lungs and messes with my Heart and Kidney function.

It has also created small ulcers in 3 areas on my Brain,2 on my Spinal Column and it makes the Lymph Nodes around my Heart swell so much it puts pressure on it disrupting the way it works which is an interesting feeling for sure.

I have terrible Arthritiis in my Ankles/Knee and around 2 Vertebrae in my lower Spine,1 in my Neck is pressing on the nerve running down my left Arm that always feels like it's been slept on by an Elephant and is stupidly weak leaving me with the grip force of an angry Squirrel.



The way I swallow has been affected but their not sure if it's been like that forever and got worse or Its a reaction to the stresses and medications.Its fine in the mouth but it works out of order lower down making me choke as I swallow.

I caught Swine Flu when it was around,I was delirious for 8 days and cannot remember a thing.It took 3 months to feel anything like normal but has left me with permenant damage to the Nerves running down the lower half of my body and has affected my eyesight.



That nerve damage also affects the way my Bladder works and taking a whole day to urinate doesn't feel good chaps trust me.

From using Crutches for over a decade my Hands,Wrists,one Elbow and one Shoulder have Arthritiis quite badly now.If I hadn't pushed hard and try to walk as much as possible for the last 10 years I'd be a total wreck now rather than a very near total wreck.



Yes Ive suffered Mental issues as many people would in my situation but I have to deal with it or it will take me down.Staying busy with growing really helps to fill in that deep dark hole that follows me round just enough for me to climb up out of it in the main.



Last year and my main push back into growing was being diagnosed with something that will limit how many grow seasons I have on this fine planet but I don't recognise it,don't focus on it and until I can't I'm going to fucking ignore it,if there is one id quite calmly say "fuck you god"



So thats most of the main issues I have,there are others like Asthma,Skin complaints etc but they're nothing to deal with in comparison.


I live,am alive and will continue to kick this Human body to get the most out of it whilst ignoring as much of the negative shit as I can.

To start with G'HAZE provides a nice soothing base to work from,relaxation is not easy for me to achieve as im usually in alot of pain in a few areas just while sitting down but a smoke like this haze has a broad,deep effect on it and if that was all it offered It would be great as it would mean me being already a relaxing 6 out of 10 before I start trying to chill rather than starting at -3 If you see what I mean.


After a few days of use It became apparent that most of my pain was reducing or at least my perception of it was changing.It was especially good on stubborn,grinding continual bone/joint pain which for most strains isnt a strength and even my Gp medications (including Oxycontin) struggle to cover it adequately.


Thats not to say it totally stopped it all but it certainly changed my awareness of how it felt and alongside my other meds was extremely effective.


As I have alot of nerve pain in quite a few areas it's also quite rare to find one strain that covers it all and G'Haze really does that and does it well.


The nerve problems from the waist down including Bladder use were settling down a little within a week and again stayed lessened but it's a deeply technical issue so I wasn't expecting it to settle as much as other issues but every little helps as they say.


I found it especially good for flash Migraines that subsided within a few days of smoking it and I never had another until I was back down to 1 smoke a day due to low stocks.


Mentally it's the kind of smoke that can make a happy mood feel like the happiest but if your on a down day it can make "happy" feel totally out of your grasp. That didn't change how it worked elsewhere in the body. I'd be a bit worried to use it much if someone's illness is purely a mental one such as depression,ptsd,anxiety or is bi-polar for instance.Im lucky In so far as I have a deep understanding of my mental issues having dealt with them for so long and can tell if things are heading south.


 I would smoke 3-4 j's max in 24hrs and didn't need more for the medical effects to be stable.




The medical effects as a whole really started to kick in after 5-6 days and I began to deeply relax dropping into a general overall feeling of calmness.


That relaxed feeling helped me sleep like I've not for a long time,I would have my last smoke about 9.30pm watch whatever's on BBC Four and  then wake up in the morning blurry eyed but chirpy.




One side effect my wife and I both had was complete and utter amnesia about the night before much like being blind drunk but without a hint of hangover in the morning,if only alcohol would do that.

I have never knowingly smoked anything Haze before,even back in the good old days so went into it with an open mind and it really rewarded me with it's power and strengths.


Im beginning to wonder if my totally confused lighting of HPS/LED/CMH all at the same time really has an effect on what I grow and especially flavour and strength as even when I've not been keen on the flavour it has all given a solid hit and aromatic smoke.My buds don't tend to be really massive though but are absolutely plastered in Thricomes.


Thanks again to @panik for the chance to grow these seeds and for the gifts that have followed since then,they're all highly valued.


We're at the end now and I'm  hoping to get some more Haze germed as soon as I have space,so for now its bye but I'm going to be hazy again soon.


Have a great Sunday.

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Fabulous write up and some stunning pictures. Nice growing, Sir :)

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looks and sounds really great smoke . good work really makes us want to have a go 


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Nice pics dude, great grow ;)

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Hey 420,


Firstly, Apologies to @panik and the other entrants, for being rather space brained and distant. I have explained some of it to you personally panik, but, for the sake of everyone else,it's been a pig of a few months health wise, and Ive just drifted along from update to update,not interacting much sadly.


I was genuinely surprised to have won a prize though, as I felt my diary slid a little towards the end.


My parcel arrived yesterday, and as usual I'd forgotten about it, and for a few seconds had a 'wtf is this' moment, before I clicked.


Ripped it open with brazen abandon, and out tumbled my prizes.Here they are ....








T shirt for MrsB as she does all the heavier work, I literally open the seed bag and smoke it at the end lol (next time you need a t shirt model panik she'll model it for a cheese sandwich lol)....




Grinder, I've used a few, but this one is like one of those wood choppers, 3 twists and it's ready to roll (kind of!)..










To now have the chance to grow some of the different genetics Real Gorilla Seeds put out is quite exciting as I've chosen, with Paniks good advice, a few strains that are going to be interesting to grow.


Having a rather filled grow schedule ahead it'll be a while till I germinate them, but they will appear here asap.


Congratulations to the other winners and I hope you enjoy the rewards.


Thanks again Panik, Happy New year to you all chaps.





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Blimey mate I had to take a double take then I thought my missus had popped round and modelled the T-shirt for you lol  proper thought that was my misses was just shouting to her oi you been out today,.. lol 


congrat on the win mate hope you enjoy your goodies you deserve it,.. :yep: 

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