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Search the Community: Showing results for tags 'loosing hash'.
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The mystery of the lost hash episode #286 Back story I have a curse. I loose hash. I consistently loose up to half of whatever weight i start with. It all began many years ago. I had smuggled a nice lump of hash on holiday with me. I didn't want to go but I was making the effort for others. On the second day I dropped about 8 grams out of a window into a beech hedge. Needless to say I was gutted. In fact I developed a kind of post traumatic stress surrounding hash and the loss of it. Every single time I have made bought or shared hash since . I have lost it. There are too many times to recall, but just recently for example I just made a dice sized lump and passed it to a friend to look at, she promptly dropped it on the workshop floor and it hasn't been seen since. She spent a good 45 mins looking for it. I told her I had to go and calm down. She thought I was mad, and probably a little bit offended I would even consider ptsd a result of loosing some hash out of a hotel window. In my defence , people being blown up in in a war zone might be worse but I'm a massive pussy and its all relative. Other reasons why I could loose my hash all the time Inter Dimension Hash stealing aliens. - There is no proof that it is not them. My own ineptitude - Highly likely but my sense of pride, in tatters that it is still puts this at the bottom of the list despite the fact there is a hole in my trouser pocket. (Id like think of that as a red herring.) So it happens again... This weekend I was tucking into a nice 2 and bit gram block (formally 4g) of home made cheese hash, very nice indeed. I was getting carried away and had simply left the hash out on the side like some sort of carefree normal non-cursed human. Drama ensued and a family member was potentially heading to A and E, because of the 4/5 hour wait I thought was coming, I may have picked up the hash and put it in a pocket with a hole in it, but I cant fully remember as I had already had a few joints of the hash and even though I was trying to recall events only a mere 45 minutes prior, the hash was so good it was futile. Usually it would go cellophane wrapper baccy pouch, pocket, in the heat of the moment I wasn't thinking clearly. ( nice to know in a family emergency my access to hash comes a little bit first) Drama calmed and I thought to myself phew not going to A and E lets celebrate with a joint! Nope It was Gone. . I was back at that hotel window again ,shaking, couldn't think straight. No not again. No seriously wtf hash curse not now. Please not now. Took about an hour and a benzo to calm fully down. As I said before I haven't ruled out inter dimensional hash stealing aliens. In which case there really is nothing I can do, except try and trap them with some more hash at a later date, confront them and give them a piece of my mind. What I know so far. ( I've made a little incident room) 1) I found a cellophane wrapper I sometimes wrap the hash up with in my pocket with the hole in it. I have vague memories of preparing for an A and E visit but this could just have been a thought with no actions tied to it. I have no way of knowing it was far too long ago and the hash was banging. 2) I walked a particular path around house and garden. I didn't leave. If I had left the property I would just give up, but because I haven't the chances are it could still be here somewhere. The only bastard is I did walk over a flint pebble drive, you know the ones that are made up of hundreds of hash sized n shaped and coloured stones. 3) Its not inside. After conducting a DEA style search much to the amusement/anger of family members It pretty much has to be outside. (Vacuum cleaners have been checked) How will I conduct my search. Clearly this is more important than anything else so I've taken the day off work. I work for myself so it wasn't to cringe explaining although my sense of self worth took a bit more of a battering but that's what the fucking hash is for in the first place. 1) I will divide the pebble stone area up with string to make a grid and then label each one accordingly and then spend up to 5 mins on each square, will do this with the lawn too. 2) Enlist the help of my Labrador which lets face it could find this lump of hash in an instant (so long as it wasn't taken by aliens). He would however need the smell of hash to go on so I would have to make a 30 mile round trip to make more anyway. (He wont eat hash so I can rule him eating it out). If I've made more though the desire to the find the first bit would diminish slowly as I ingest more of the second so I really should do the grid thing first. 3) Dowsing rods, although not a proficient dowser and perhaps more on the side of the skeptic I do own two dowsing rods that have been pointing me to one spot over near some bins. This is also the flint pebble area. Dowsing rods trolling me? They cud be in cahoots with the aliens. I did run this past my neighbour so see what she thought but she just went inside and closed her door. Rude cow. So here I'm at the foothills of a mountain looking up, armed with a ball of string a head torch and a drug problem I'm off to find my hash. I will not be beaten this time. Wish me luck. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- to be continued -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- See other titles in the series! Hotel Nightmare (original) Squidgey black fucked off whilst I ate. Laden baccy pouch droppage vol 1 and 2 Dropping a quarter of leb somewhere in the new forest Left an oz on a bus Dropping pea-sized pieces in pub car parks - a collection of short stories.