Sweet Seeds

Felt like now would be a good time for an update, since I'm up at 6:30 am, but I have my prescription flower, and it helps a lot with pain. But I caught myself trying to push myself harder so I could vape afterwards, as if the pushing to pain meant I could have my pain medication - you know, as a treat.   You lads may be uncomfortable reading this, but women are accustomed to pain. We're taught to ignore it. Monthly cramps that have us doubled over in bed with tears running down our faces from the time we turn 12 - and we're told to just keep functioning as if everything is fine. Women turn pain medication down. We boast about how we gritted our teeth and refused the pain medication when we birthed our children, and we practice our reserved smiles when we're insulted. It's not worth arguing about - every woman reading this is nodding her head. I grew up working construction, welding, running heavy equipment and playing American football - so I got a real big dose of toxic masculinity as well. I have always ignored pain, even when I probably shouldn't, just to keep up in an industry where women barely feature; anything else was a sign of weakness.   Eventually, if you ignore your body's signals for long enough, your body will force you to stop. It is then when you have no choice but to pay attention, and that moment kicked me in the teeth when I dropped some paperwork on a floor at a job, and burst into tears because I couldn't figure out how I was going to bend over and pick them up. All anyone else probably saw was a soppy bird crying over something dumb. But I'd been ignoring the feeling of ground broken glass in my spine, hips, knees and shoulders for over a decade of rough manual work, always pushing my body harder and further.   And so, when pain happens to me, I have this un-natural yet nonetheless automatic reaction to refuse it. It's 'no big deal' I say chirpily to my husband as I am forced to hobble on screaming joints to get a glass of water. "I'm fine" even when I have to ask someone else to cook dinner because my hands are too swollen to use. No time to be in pain; I have shit to do!    The idea of medicating because I'm in pain, and not because I have done something worthy enough to deserve medication - is still difficult. I have an indica flower now on prescription and I feel a twinge of guilt every single time I measure out my dose for the day and fill up the vape. Everything in my very fundy-upbringing says this is the Devil's Work and I shouldn't be partaking. Moreover (GASP), you're starting to enjoy it, woman. Heathen, philistine! You'll be snorting it next! I go through the Nine Rings of Dante's Inferno from the time I open my small jar to the last puff of vapour. Guilt, pleasure, relief, rinse repeat.   I've had to come to terms with the deep-seated, subconscious training that I can only give myself relief when I have suffered enough - and how utterly messed up an idea that is for a person to have. It's cruel, and un-natural. Maybe being in the current panini (I guess we don't say the p-word anymore) has forced us all to have to take a deep, hard look at ourselves, since we only have us for company; and we may not like what we see there, but we have fair opportunity now to do something about it. And so, this is mine. I don't need to suffer to deserve relief. I can have it now, and I don't have to push myself to pain in order to avail myself of it.    Now, when I vape, I'm able to stretch more, or do the first bit of gentle exercise - ever, ever so slowly - that I've been able to do in over two years. I still need my wheelchair and always will. I'm very unsteady on my feet and I won't be dancing anytime soon. Mostly, I move because I enjoy it, and my over-trained, manual-labour body needs the attention. But I can see the benefit of maybe not falling and needing a trip to A&E because I broke a hip.   Best of all, I can feel myself relax and ease up with my new medication. I'm starting to grasp that, after decades, I can allow myself not to be in pain anymore. I don't need to wear hurt like pips on a uniform.    No one does.

hi   Bristol dad says his family has been 'terrorised' over small amount of cannabis “I’ve had three or four police cars sitting outside my house for no reason"   A Knowle dad claims his family was “terrorised” after police found cannabis in his pocket in 2018. Dayton Powell, of Exmouth Road, received a conditional discharge on Thursday (February 25) at Bristol Magistrates’ Court for having 2.2g of the Class B drug in his tracksuit.   The 39-year-old believes he has been unfairly targeted since the seizure on December 20, 2018. Avon and Somerset police said in 2016 it had “never targeted the personal use of cannabis unless that use is in itself creating a more harmful situation and endangering vulnerable people”. Powell told Bristol Live after his hearing: “It's the corrupt system, that's all I can say. I don't know why I’ve been targeted in the last three years. “They said to me at the beginning they knew I wasn't a drug dealer so I don't know what their problem is.”   The decision to charge Powell was taken by the Crown Prosecution Service. Its spokesman defended the decision, pointing to previous drug offences and the presence of a child in the house. During the hearing, Powell accused police of having three or four cars outside his house “for no reason” at times since the offence, upsetting his family. Prosecutor Laura Opie said officers had entered the home with a search warrant before seizing the cannabis. Powell was inside with his wife, son and daughter. Ms Opie initially said the defendant had been charged over 30g of cannabis found in various places around the house. Police accepted this may have been for personal use, she added.   But Powell responded: “As far as I know, I was being charged for cannabis in my tracksuit. That’s what I was told. I don’t know what the prosecutor’s talking about.” He took legal advice over lunch and returned to the dock in the afternoon. It is unclear what the advice was, because immediately after the hearing resumed, Ms Opie said: “If Mr Powell wants to plead guilty to the bit in his pocket, that’s acceptable. I believe it was around 2.2g in his pocket.” Representing himself, Powell said he would plead guilty over the cannabis in his pocket, adding: “It was really a small amount.” Ms Opie then told the court “Mr Powell was executed”, before laughing and correcting herself. “Sorry, that would be very severe,” she said. “A warrant was executed, I mean to say.” Powell did not laugh at this. The prosecutor continued: “There were various amounts of cannabis in the house but there were also various people in the house, so Mr Powell is not being charged in relation to the full amount.”   The defendant said he used cannabis to calm his anxiety. He added: “Since this case I’ve been dubbed as a drug dealer everywhere, to the point Avon and Somerset police have contacted other police stations in other cities, told them I’m a drug dealer and apprehended me in dangerous ways. “I’m tired of this case. My wife and I have been terrorised by police. It’s been almost three years. “I’ve had three or four police cars sitting outside my house for no reason. I didn’t harm anyone and up until recently I got terrorised all the time.” Powell also claimed police failed to replace collectors’ coins he had given his children, which officers allegedly seized from his house during the raid.   While the magistrates considered the sentence, a lawyer – who was in the courtroom but not involved in the case – said: “Why are the courts bothering with a little bit of cannabis? “We’ve got a massive backlog of cases. I realise it’s an easy one for the police. It’s unbelievable.” Since the raid, Powell has only been in court for a driving matter, Ms Opie said. Presiding Justice Georgia Ramsey told Powell: “We are giving you a six-month conditional discharge, which means you are not being punished today. However, if you commit an offence in the next six months you can be punished for today’s offence as well as the new offence.” She informed him he must pay £85 in prosecution costs and a £20 victim surcharge, then asked if he could pay the full amount that day. Powell paused before replying: “Police didn’t even pay me back the correct money.” Ms Ramsey said: “In that case, it will be £20 per month until the whole amount is paid off.” The Crown Prosecution Service (CPS) issued a statement to Bristol Live explaining the decision to prosecute.   Its spokesman said: “In every case where there is sufficient evidence to justify a prosecution, CPS prosecutors must go on to consider whether a prosecution is required in the public interest. “Dayton Powell was charged with possession of a small amount of cannabis. This decision was based on the fact that drugs were left lying around in a house where a young child was living and this, together with the defendant’s previous drug-related offences, contributed to the seriousness of the offence. “There was a delay in this case coming before the court due to a linked investigation.”   https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/bristol-news/bristol-dad-says-family-been-5050169   Vid On Link   Bongme  

What a great holiday place Morocco will become - buying nice weed and hash without worrying that the person you buy from gets you arrested and their product back.  All those delicious pastries for munchies and all that yummy food.    Meanwhile we all sit here in the biggest exporter of weed and are still running from the police. 

You might need some Epsom salts. I found some strains liked a bit of mg added when using biobizz nutes.